Duskwood: Love's Beginning

53 - Jayna

I was trying to catch my breath. Jake and I were lying in bed the morning after our dinner at the restaurant. He kept running his hands all over my body, watching intently to see how I reacted. There was definitely lust in his eyes. It was a heady feeling, to have someone like him want me. It made me feel powerful and overwhelmed at the same time, and extremely nervous about living up to his expectations.

We hadn't gone past what had happened in the shower. He was always touching me, trying to make me feel good. But holding back, keeping things from going too far. I couldn't help but worry that when the time came, he would be disappointed with the results after all the waiting and sexual tension.

I also knew that when women had hysterectomies, it could change their experience of sex. I hadn't been with anyone since my surgery, so I didn't know how it would go.

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and focused on what he was doing. How could he make my toes curl just by gently touching my neck? I wanted to kiss him, but he kept insisting that I lie still and relax. As if I could relax with his eyes burning into my soul and his hands turning me into a puddle. "Please kiss me," I begged him.

He finally relented and leaned toward me, kissing me softly. I was desperate to touch him, but he kept preventing me. In a nice way, but still stopping me. I tried being more persistent, and he huffed. "Jayna, can you not just let me give you pleasure?"

"But I want to make you feel good, too," I whined.

"I look forward to that...when the time is right," he responded, smirking.

I stared at him. "Are you kidding me right now? Oh, I will make you pay for that!" He wasn't expecting me to move so quickly. I leaped on top of him, pinning his arms down under my knees. Then I started tickling him.

Jake yelled, trying to squirm away. Now that I had confirmed he was ticklish, I kept going. I knew all the best spots. He finally freed his hands and tried to tickle me back. I grinned maniacally. "I'm not ticklish. Not in the least," I told him. He was laughing and wheezing for breath, wriggling beneath me. He would try to grab my wrists, but I knew he wouldn't grab me too roughly, so I was able to break free each time.

"Mercy! Mercy!" he gasped. "I'm sorry, I give up!"

Satisfied that I had made my point, I stopped my attack. "Let this be a lesson to you. Come at me again, and I won't go so easy on you." I rolled off the bed and walked away with a swagger in my step, feeling pleased with myself. I heard Jake chuckling behind me.

The rest of the morning was chill. Jake and I had only grown closer emotionally during our time at the beach and spent more time discussing our histories. He talked to me about his mother–her illness, her admission of the affair with Nathan Donfort. He showed me pictures of him with his mom, as well as the picture he sent to Lilly of his mother and Mr. Donfort. He talked about how his mother's death had driven him to a dark place, and how he used his programming skills to fight for justice in an illegal way. It has been a rash decision, he said, made in his early 20s while he was still mourning both the loss of his mother and losing contact with Hannah. He was all alone in the world and let his anger get the best of him. "Do you want to know what I did?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

I shook my head. "If you'd like to tell me. But I meant it when I said that I don't care. It won't change how I feel about you either way." His posture relaxed, and we left it at that.

I talked to him about my past, including growing up poor in a household with two parents who had trouble keeping jobs. How my parents had been only too happy to have me leave the house after high school. I mentioned the friends I used to have who had turned on me or been alienated by Marcus. I told him I didn't mind so much, though, because I believed everything that had happened had brought me to meet him. Also, I spoke of Lia, and everything she did for me, up to and including giving me the cash and the medical bag.