Duskwood: Love's Beginning

51 - Jayna

Since Jake had come into my life, it seemed like each day was complicated. However, the truth was that my life was complicated far before he was in it; I had just been doing my best to ignore that fact by avoiding Marcus. Jake made my life better, and easier in many ways that more than made up for any additional complications he brought. I hadn't realized how much I was struggling on my own before I'd met him. My life had been lonely, revolving solely around trying to do my best at my job, making sure the bills were paid, and hoping that if I avoided Marcus, he would leave me alone someday.

Jake had told me once that he had trouble reading emotions in the written word. A "flaw," he had called it. In reality, he had been trying to get close to a young woman as a sister, while she had no idea they were related. She saw the attention of an intelligent, kind man, and thought he was pursuing her in a romantic way. Neither of them was at fault; it was just an unfortunate misunderstanding. But Jake blamed himself and decided he must be faulty in his communication.

In my experience, he wasn't bad at reading people at all. Even back before we met in person, he had always understood my emotions; sometimes, it seemed he knew better than I did what I was thinking or feeling. Maybe it was just the instantaneous connection we had. But regardless, he had nearly a sixth sense about me and what I needed.

I had certainly needed his touch last night, and he had not disappointed. His hands on me were like a drug, and I was addicted for sure. I wanted things to go differently yesterday in the shower, but he'd stopped me. If he could make me see stars just from his fingers, then I had a lot to look forward to when we took things further.

I thought I was ready. But maybe I wasn't. Looking back, perhaps I had brushed off yet another ugly encounter with Marcus too quickly. I had helped to treat victims of domestic abuse before. I saw how shock or denial could lead them to believe they were fine at the moment, until later when the trauma would bring their world crashing down around them. I acknowledged that my experience was a form of abuse; however, I did not accept that it would become a source of post-traumatic stress. But maybe that wasn't up to me.

I wanted Jake, badly. And it was obvious that the feeling was mutual, but he was holding back a lot, to take care of me. It was a new experience, having a man wait to satisfy his physical needs so that I would be ready emotionally. I didn't know when I would be ready. But I think when I was ready I would know, if that made any sense.

Jake was taking me to dinner tonight. I had worried about it, but Jake said this area wasn't big on security cameras, and that he felt the FBI might be backing off. He had found a restaurant with ocean views that had good ratings online. Like most places in this area, it closed down early, so we had a 6:00 reservation. I was excited to wear the dress I had picked out for this trip and go out with him in public. 

Prior to our dinner, we spent the day relaxing. I knew Jake had not done much computer stuff lately, so I encouraged him to do his thing. He sat next to me on the sofa, occasionally reaching out to touch my hand or my hair while he looked at whatever was on his screen. I was busy reading one of the many books from the den, totally engrossed in a murder mystery. It felt natural and comfortable to be able to sit with him in silence like we'd been together forever. I got up only to refill our waters and make us lunch. At about 4 pm, I did a quick yoga routine on the deck to give my muscles a good workout and stretch, then headed upstairs to shower and get ready.

As per usual, I used coconut oil on my skin as a moisturizer and dabbed a tiny bit of diluted lavender essential oil at my pulse points. What can I say, I keep things simple.

My dress was a print of white lilies on a black background. It had a wide-banded halter strap and an open back, leaving my skin bare to just above my waist. The top had a sweetheart neckline that was fitted, and then it flared out in a ruffled skirt to halfway down my thighs. I had black knee-high boots with me that I was going to wear with my black dress and tights for the funeral. The boots might be an odd pairing with a sundress, but I would make it work with the black denim jacket I had.

I wasn't much for make-up; each time I tried to follow any tutorials, it looked odd to me. But I did put on some nude lip gloss just for some pop.

Jake had said it was safe to communicate with Jessy, so I sent her a pic of me in the dress. She said I looked like a babe, which made me giggle. Then I sent her a picture of the ring and she called me.

"What happened?!" she squealed into my ear.

"It's just for appearances," I responded quickly, feeling my face heat up.

"I don't believe that for a second. A man doesn't just give the woman he loves a ring like that for appearances, Jayna." When I was quiet, she asked me if I was alright.

"We've decided we have to go away. As in, really far away. And, appearing to be married will help with the plan," I told her.

"So, you're leaving? Will I get to see you again?" I heard a tremble in Jessy's voice and had to keep from crying myself.

"I don't think it's safe to see you before we go; it might put you in danger. Marcus is still out there, and someone broke into my apartment and completely trashed it. It was him, I just know it. He spilled red paint all over my things, Jessy."

She gasped. "Like the red paint used for the sign of the raven?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen it. But I wouldn't be surprised."

"Then you have to go wherever you'll be safe, Jayna. Let Jake take care of you. And when you tell me it's OK, maybe I can come to visit."

I smiled. "That would be great. You guys have to be careful too, OK? Tell everyone to watch out for Marcus."

"I will. But don't worry about us. Now, go have a romantic dinner with that guy who clearly is head over heels for you."

"Thank you. Talk to you later."

I admired the ring for a minute in the bright lights of the bathroom. He really went all-out with the sparkles. It was a gamble on his part, knowing my feelings on the subject. It did make me feel warm and fuzzy when he gave it to me because I knew he was doing it out of love, and not to force me into something. This would be a good night, I decided.

I walked downstairs, holding my jacket and purse in my hands. I saw him staring at his laptop, wearing the button-up shirt untucked over black jeans and his combat boots. "I'm ready," I told Jake, suddenly feeling self-conscious. When he turned to me, I noticed that the shirt matched the color of his eyes perfectly. My breath caught in my throat as he looked me up and down; it felt like he was physically caressing me, and my entire body was about to spontaneously combust from it.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath. Oh, good. He liked the dress. ; )

A/N: Thank you for all the reads, votes, and follows! It means the world to me. <3