FINDING DORY

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Dory
   I stared at the mirror, my eyes were swollen. Puffy eye bags were already enough evidence that I had been crying for a long time. I choked with with disgust, as I recalled the memory of Jeffery's rough hands on me. For some reason I couldn't seem to forget it. Neither could I forget the way Barbara humiliated me.

  I shouldn't have listened to fatima. I knew it was not a good idea. Me being around people was never a good idea. I don't know why I thought any different . Fade in with the rest of my surroundings? Go unnoticed? Yeah right. What was I even thinking? That Barbara would see me and ignore me, or she would look the other way? She had always made it her life's mission to make me miserable.

  I glared at the extra flesh that gathered at my arm.

"Christian-mother arms"

    I lifted my shirt and stared at the mirror for a long moment, glared down at my protuding tummy. All flesh and no muscle.
I turned my face away overcome with shame, with disgust.

   I didn't ask to look like this, I didn't want to look like this. I looked back at the mirror again. Stared. Perhaps I was trying to see beyond the image that stared back at me. Something that I would have no shame of, something that didn't overwhelm me with disgust for myself. I saw nothing.   

Fat.. folds... humongous...ugly. 

  I slid to the ground, buried my face at the edge of my bed and sobbed out my insides for a long time, over come with this unbearable feeling of emptiness.

        ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

  I made my tummy belt two times that tighter, wore the baggiest shirt, I could find. I tried to come up with one hundred and one excuses why I couldn't go to campus today, considered pretending to be ill. My mother would definitely not buy any of them. She would see through me immediately. I sighed and ran my hands down my face and stared at my bed longingly.

  What wouldn't I give? to simply spend the day under my bed covers, reading a good book or watching a good movie. But if it was always easy to have what we wanted, when we wanted it, then I would have wished to wake up feeling like Kendall Jenner. I laughed out at the thought and scoffed.

  If pigs could fly.

I grabbed my bag pack and headed down the stairs. Mum was waiting for me at the table already. Breakfast was already served. The heart lifting aroma of sausages and scrambled eggs with freshly baked bread assaulted my senses. I swallowed. It was disappointing really that I wasn't going to have any of it.

Mum's warm smile quickly gave way to a slight frown. I paused.
"Why are you sweating so much?"

The tummy belt was really tight.

"The air is a bit warm and my shirt is probably thick" I feigned a casual shrug.
"Are you ok?" She asked softly.

No..I was struggling to fucking breathe. I was literally dying. How I was going to get through the whole day wearing this shit, I didn't know.

I smiled warmly  "I'm fine mum, I'm ok"
"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" She asked again when she saw me
heading towards the door.
"I'm already late" I hurried out before she could question me further.

The drive to school was excruciating. My hands were trembling and I was trying to shake off the overwhelmingly anxiety that choked me as we approached the campus gates. I had almost instructed the driver to take me back home. It was no use anyway. Mum could tell him to take me back.
 
  I stood in the parking lot for a long time, afraid to move. Well, that was until I saw Fatima hurrying towards me. I wanted to be still be angry at her for dragging me against my will to that party.

  But then I saw how relieved and happy she was to see me, I knew I couldn't be angry. At least not any more. I couldn't be angry with her for a long time. She was my best friend after all.

I felt relieved as she hugged me, felt calm a bit. It was warming to know that at least I wouldn't get through the day alone.  I had her,  I had the girls.

Slowly I headed into campus, Struggling to keep to keep my gaze ahead but then it was happening, people were staring, murmuring, whispering, giggling. The more I attempted not letting my nonchalant facade fall apart, the more harder it became.

Biggie ... Christian mother arms....see belle.

  Fatima squeezed my trembling hands, silently assuring me. I was exasperated already, I simply just wanted to go through with my classes in peace. I really didn't want to be noticed by anyone and everyone.

  The lecture hall was crowded, the lecturer was bound to come in anytime soon. At least if he did, it would distract the stares away from me.

Fatima hissed, unable to hide her irritation. She glared at the girl who was sitting opposite us, pointing her finger at me without shame, murmuring to her friend who was giggling, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was talking about me. She wanted me to know it.

"If you don't put down that filthy finger, I'll break it and give it to you to eat!" Fatima snapped, her eyes were seething with anger and irritation.

The girl and her friend flinched, taken aback by Fatima's threat. They made the wise decision to face the projector. Nobody ever really wanted to battle it out with Fatima. She was vicious when she wanted to be.

"You know you can't bully people to hide the truth abi, it's not our fault that Biggie embarrassed herself yesterday" Barbara shot across the lecture hall. People hid thier mouths behind thier palm, laughing. The ones who wanted me to know they were laughing at me, cackled, guffawed.

"I even heard she sneaked back to the party to finish all the food" another girl added.

"Well I heard you were stupid and your brain cells were dead, you just proved me right" Fatima snapped. 

People exclaimed at her come back and the laughing intensified. Embarrassed, the girl turned her face away.

" And Barbara, you know you can't make everyone indulge in your stupidity right? Because that's all you literally do. Make a fool of yourself!" Fatima shot back, spitting fire from her mouth. She had clearly had enough.

  Barbara shot daggers with her eyes from where she sat, she opened her mouth to diss out a come back, The lecturer came in.

I felt warm satisfaction wash over me, my insides swelled with gratitude and relief. Today might not be so bad after all.

  Another update. Don't forget to comment, vote. With Lots of love 💕