𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥?

26 : love

after leaving the rink, i returned to my dorm and sat on my bed with my feet dangling off the side.

i looked towards my nightstand and picked up the photo of my brother and mother. i laid down on my back and continued to stare at the photo in front of me.

a little knock came from my door and i responded with, "it's open, come in!"

dean walked in and shut the door behind him. i sat up and scooted over to make room for him. he had instantly seen the photo i was holding in my hand.

"who's that?" he asked as he pointed to what was in my hands. i looked down at the photo again and a small smile appeared on my face.

"that's my mom and my older brother. they," but i stopped myself before i could finish my sentence.

dean made me feel so comfortable and safe in so many different ways, but i couldn't even bother to tell him the truth about my life. i didn't understand myself.

"so that's where you get your looks from?" he asked with a smirk on his face. i jokingly smacked his arm and rolled my eyes at his comment.

"well, a little birdie wanted me to tell you that you have dinner plans tonight at," he looked down at his imaginary watch. "8 o'clock. so be on the roof by then." he winked at me and held that cute small smile he always had when he looked at me.

in that moment, as we locked eyes with each other, i felt a butterfly-y and excited-y and nervous-y feeling in my stomach and heart.

he walked towards my door, yet looked back one more time before officially leaving my room. i sat staring at the door, replaying everything that just happened.

what was that feeling?

why did i want to run out of my room and jump into his arms and ki-

my thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. "hello?" i answered. it turned out to be marie and i froze at first. we hadn't spoke since our argument about my game. there was silence over the line.

"you know i only want the best for you, right?" she asked me. i nodded my head, forgetting she couldn't see me. "yes, i know you do."

"i know you're frustrated about your playing time and you want your chance. i know you'll get it, bella. i'm sorry for freaking out over the phone the other day."

i accepted her apology and began apologizing myself for how i acted over the phone. we were both able to accept our faults from the incident and move on from it. for the next hour, i caught her all up on what was occurring in los angeles and she told me everything happening in louisville.

it was only 3 pm when i got off the phone with marie. i decided to take myself across the street to do a little shopping. i feel like i haven't had any 'me time' since i've arrived to california.

as i walked back into the lobby of the dorm building after finishing my shopping, i heard my name being called. i turned around to see russ behind me and a small smile came onto my face.

"so, i heard you have a dinner tonight," he said as he raised his eyebrows at me. my heart fluttered for a moment, but then i was instantly reminded of the lies i had told dean.

russ must have been able to see the disappointment on my face because he gave me a questioning look.

for the next hour, we sat in the lounge as i told him about how i lied to dean.

"i know it's your past, so it's personal to you and you want it kept safe, but you can't lie, especially if you love the guy." my eyes widened at his words. "love? okay russ, i really like him and how he flirts with me and how he always gives me that look and how i always feel-"

i stopped myself when i looked at russ because he had that smug look on his face. "are you like a matchmaker or something?" he laughed aloud at my question. "i guess you could call me that," he responded as he propped his feet up on the coffee table and held his hands behind his head.

we both laughed at his actions and stood up to head to our rooms. we talked as we walked up the stairs and ran into a few of our teammates on the way.

we talked to them before they continued on their journey to 'see what los angeles really was,' as dwayne told the both of us.

russ stopped at his door and turned to me before he walked in.

"it's hard, but you have to say the truth bella. you don't want that guilt to live in you forever." he patted my shoulder before opening his door and closing it behind him.

the truth held a lot behind it.