The story of us// Hyunlix

hate how u make me feel

June 2017

It had been 5 months since I was in recovery. My parents had kept the whole situation a secret from our family in Korea just as I had asked. The process of getting clean was hard, some days I felt like I was getting worse, not better. I would say those were the hardest months of my life, but I was lucky to have Jisung and my parents by my side to help me through it.

Once the school break came around, we had to go to Korea for a few weeks as we always did. This year we couldn't cancel it, because my grandma was sick. We had to go.

Plus, for obvious reasons, my parents didn't trust me to leave me alone in Australia. And they were right for not trusting me because I would have relapsed right away if I didn't have them there to control me.

I hated everything about going to Korea that year. I had to face everyone and pretend I was fine, I had to pull my shit together and not show how screwed I was. On top of all going there meant having to see Hyunnin with Thomas. I was fine with pretending I was happy for him from far away, but face to face...I couldn't do it. It was too much.

But I had no choice.

"Hey...you'll be ok right?" asked Jisung.

"I hope"

"Just don't do anything stupid ok?" he said and hugged me.

"I won't. I promise" I said and buried my face in his shoulder.

"Why can't you come with me and keep me company," I said.

"You know I would If I could, Lix..."

"I know" I sighed.

"I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too Ji," I said.

°°°

The first day there was a nightmare. The only good thing was Minho that saved me from having to socialize with the family, by offering to go watch anime in my room.

"Are you ok?" he asked while we were going to my room.

"Yeah...just tired." I lied.

"I don't buy that lie not even a bit, Lix...but It's ok. I won't push you to tell me, let's just go watch Naruto"

"But I'm here whenever you wanna talk about it," he added and I smiled.

"Thanks, Minho"

That evening we stayed inside my room and watched Naruto till 3 am.

The next day Hyunjin texted me to meet up, but I didn't feel like facing him yet so I lied and told him my parents wouldn't let me. But Hyunjin being Hyunjin, came to my grandparents' house to see me.

"I told you I can't go out today..." I said as I went to open the front door.

"I know but I still wanted to see you," he said and hugged me as soon as I opened the door.

At that moment I felt like crying. I had missed and craved his touch for too long. I melted into the hug and tried to make it last as much as I could.

"Missed you Lixie," he said.

"Missed you too"

"How are you?"

"I'm great"

Lies on top of lies...

"You?" I asked.

"I'm great too. I won that art competition I told you about last month" he said excitedly and I couldn't help but smile.

"I told you you would. You're a great artist, Jinnie" I said and he nodded.

"I am" he laughed.

"Wanna come inside and hang out?" I asked when I realized we were standing in the doorway.