In Time And Memories

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Two weeks before my birthday, I was appointed as the commander of the Golden Xazuiqiel. At the age of 18, I became the youngest knight to become a commander of Golden Xazuiqiel.

Urus prepared a small banquet for me along with the other knights.

Just like what he said, Xiel became the commander of Black Zierg which automatically appoints him as the head commander of Order of the Meliean knights. While Cavelia named her own battalion; Amethyst Arkline.

"We are under your commands, Commander Empress Azelaine Laurenze Varzilion," Maive said, the vice commander of Golden Xazuiqiel.

I cringe with the sound of my name. Why does he have to say my full name? I'm not used to it and it's too long. Anyways, I smiled at Maive. All of the members in our battalion are older than me and they are delicately handpicked by Duke Arthoion and last Emperor Ytrius.

"I am at your service as well. If you have concerns, you can approach me anytime."

The banquet went on and the knights are having a wonderful night. Most of the time, they are in the battlefield or at the training grounds. They must have no chance to enjoy some leisures.

"Xiel," I called him. Xiel faced me and greeted with a bow. "Is Urus not done yet?" I heard he was having a meeting right now so he left early.

"Well, I don't see him here so most likely that the meeting is not yet done."

He left earlier this afternoon and now it's getting late. I know he have his duties but he still have to take some break and rest. He was working all day long.

"Relax," he muttered after seeing how uneasy I am. "You two seems unseperable these days. I thought you hate him?"

"I did."

"So what happened now?" My eyebrpws furrowed and then slowly turned to him. Xiel suddenly drank on his glass and avoided my gaze.

I scoffed. "Are you prying me now, Commander Arthoion?"

Xiel laughned nervously and shake his head frantically. "Of course not, Your imperial highness." He gulped. "You know, our titles aside, we are cousin-in-law. Your husband is my close cousin so it is natural on my part that I feel concerned, Your imperial highness," he explained.

"Ah... concerned?"

"Yes, Your imperial highness."

I laughed. At first, I thought Xiel was a jerk who is so full of himself but now that we are close, I must say that he is really fun to be with. And he is right, we are cousin-in-law.

After a moment of silence, Xiel cleared his throat and warily glanced at me. "Urus loves you. He fell for you and I think he is still falling day by day."

"I know." I smiled faintly.

"Do you feel the same way towards him?" I looked at him. Xiel is also staring at me with his serious eyes. I know that he is worried about his cousin but there is nothing else I could do.

I am still afraid.

I do not know if I am even capable of love.

"I apologize, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. It is not my intention," he said after he realized that I didn't answered.

"I know..." I trailed off. "Even if you didn't asked me that, I would still feel guilty. Urus did nothing but treated me with kindness. He did what I wanted him to do and I treated him as a weapon to my revenge."

Xiel sigh and sipped on his glass. "You do feel guilty. That is one thing."

"I am afraid, Xiel."

He stopped drinking then a smirk formed on his lips. "I understand how you feel. We may have a different cases but both of us are afraid." He chuckled. "Love is a shit hole, you know. It made us confused, inflicts pain, anger, jealousy, and the most funny of all is we are still helplessly falling."

For him to say those words, love must have hurted him so badly.

"That is why we are afraid of it," he continued and then he looked at me. "But I know Urus will never hurt you," he assured me and I only gave him a smile.

Another moment of silence fell between us until Cain suddenly appeared. My eyes widened upon seeing him.

"Greetings, Your imperial highness."

"Cain!" It is so nice to see a friend.

"I heard that a lot things has happened when I was gone." His eyes scanned me from head to toe. "Look at you, you are now a commander and an empress."

I laughed. "Well, how was Astareth? And how are you? You didn't even told me that you are sent in Astareth," I bombarded him with questions. He grabbed a glass and then drank it first.

"First of all, Astareth is fine and now flourishing. Second, I am fine. Nothing really changed, of course, aside from I have finally moved on." He smiled at me while I feel confused.

Moved on? Did he got hurt because of love too?

Xiel suddenly faked a cough which caught our attention. "Ehem! Your husband is here. Ehem!"

I turned my head and saw Urus walking towards us. His jaw is clenching and his footsteps feels heavy. Then I heard Cain scoffed beside me.

"Greetings, Your imperial highness," Cain politely greeted. I know that he didn't really like Urus but it is amusing how he still shows respect to him. Look what a higher title and authority can do.

Urus didn't acknowledge Cain's greetings he has to bow until Urus went out of the site.

He held my hand. "Are you tired? You can just leave them here."

"I will stay for a while. Cain just came back so we have to chat a little," I told him. His eyes went to Cain and I saw how his gazes became sharp but when he went back to me, his eyes are soft.

Is he angry at Cain?

"Alright, I will stay with you."

"Oh.. okay."

"No need, Empress Azelaine. I heard that the banquet started this afternoon and I understand that you might be tired," Cain butted in while still bowing.

My mouth gaped to speak but Cain beat me to it. "We can catch on the other day, Empress Azelaine." I blinked and couldn't do anything but nodded. I also felt Urus' arm wrapped around my waist.

"O-Okay, then. I will go now."

"You may raise your head," Urus said coldly before we turned our back.

"That's lame," I heard Xiel said faintly. Cain replied to him but I couldn't catch it well since we have quiet a distance.

Urus and I left the Ezckelian Palace.

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