In Time And Memories

Chapter Sixty-Two

I still couldn't grasp my ahead around what the queen told me about. And I don't know if I should believe it or not. But those information matches the mystery on how Urus have two magics.

Was it really possible for an imperial family to have two magics?

Or they have since they can use black magic?

A loud groan escaped my lips and I felt my knees weakened. I sat on the ground while staring aimlessly.

My mind is on the verge of giving up ever since she told me that. I don't know what to think anymore. I am afraid to ask Urus or Emperor Ytrius since that might be a false information which can be labeled as blasphemy.

Who knows, the queen's words are more likely a lie than the truth.

That's right. That is all I have to think of. I know those words meant nothing and she just wants to mess up with my mind.

"What are you doing?" My heart almost jumped out when someone suddenly spoke behind me.

I stood up immediately and faced that person. My face turned pale because of embarrassment, it was as if all of my blood got drained and a cold water was splashed all over my body.

It is Emperor Ytrius. Of all people who can see me sitting on the ground, it really has to be him.

Wow. How disgraceful of me.

"Y-Your highness, greetings," I stuttered. I thought he was going to nag me or will pry me but he just sighs.

"Looks like you are in a deep thought, Empress Azelaine."

I am, indeed, and it's all because of your queen.

My lips formed into a smile. "Thank you for your concern, Your highness, but it's nothing." I can't tell him the truth, can I?

"I heard that Queen Frizella called you."

Oh great.

"Yes, she invited me for a tea as a gift." That's the half-truth. Well, it's not like I lied; I just didn't told him the whole context of her invitation.

Emperor Ytrius chuckled then faced me. "I don't think it was just a simple invitation for a tea, Empress Azelaine."

Right. You can never hide something to this person.

"She told me something," I started. I gathered more guts before continuing my sentences. "About the imperial family, about the black magic."

I noticed how his jaw clenched and his face darkened.

"Do you believe all of it?"

My mouth gaped. It's not the answer I was expecting but somehow, I expected that he will ask me that question.

"I just want to know the truth." I think my words takes a heavy toll. By how Emperor Ytrius turned his back, it confirms that Queen Frizella is right.

A tear escaped from my eyes and it rolled down to my cheek. Just how much more information I am not aware of? Do I even know these people or these are all a facade from the beginning?

"Is that why she's angry at you? At everyone?"

"She's angry because I betrayed her," he admits.

"Then why?! Why did you have to betray her?!"

"Because I love someone else!" Emperor Ytrius exclaimed back.

So, in the end, Queen Frizella is just another victim of love. Maybe she is right, we are the same. Although, our choices and actions were different from one another but the fact that we were betrayed by love, tells that we are the same.

Emperor Ytrius heaved a sigh then he looked at me. I was taken aback when I saw pain and sadness on his eyes.

"Tell me, Azelaine. Was I wrong?"

That question is like asking me; was it wrong to reject Queen Frizella because he loves Empress Thiane? But why is he asking me that? I'm not even sure of myself, so why?

"In the end of the day, all of it are Frizella's volition. No matter how much lies our family has, it is her own choices to do terrible things."

I know, he is right and I know that Queen Frizella is right too.

I don't know anymore. This is very confusing. I just want a life where I can be at peace. No political powers, no problems, no revenge.

Revenge...

Now that I realized it, I am a hypocrite too. All of the things I built felt like collapsing and I have to start again.

When we want to achieve something with greed, it really will destroy yourself in the process. And it hurts. I feel so lost, vulnerable, and I pity myself.

When I slowly looked up, the first thing I saw is Urus. He was walking towards me with a worry expression. But that same expression pains me. How can he love me after I use him for my revenge?

I want to ask him if being my weapon was worth it but I couldn't open my mouth.

As soon as he went closer to me, he pulled me into a hug. For the first time, I felt my heart skipped a beat.

His warmth spread through my body and it reached my heart. The tears I have been holding on finally fell and I cried between his arms. He tightened his hug after hearing my sobs.

I don't know anymore. I don't know who to believe and where to start.

Ah.

But what I know now is that I love him. No matter what lie the imperial family has, I just want to believe him.

Maybe this is where I will start again. Nothing will matter to me anymore, just me and him. Whatever information I am going to know in the future, it doesn't matter.

"Are you okay?" He asks me and I don't know what answer should I tell him. His eyes are looking straight at my eyes.

Should I tell the truth or I'll just say the word I usually say to answer?

Urus looked up at his father. "Father, what happened?" In the end, I didn't answered his question. I just stared at him blankly, it was as if I'm in a void.

"She knows."

I saw Urus' eyes widened."Fuck..." He mumbled and then his eyes fell on me again. "I'm sorry," he whispered and hugged me tight.

I mindlessly smiled. "Why are you apologizing? Is it because you lied?"

He didn't answer or maybe he couldn't. "Tell me everything," I whispered to him. There was a silence between us. I didn't even know if Emperor Ytrius is still behind me, watching us or if he already left.

"I will tell you, I promise."

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