i just wanna get lost with you - ronance

chapter 5

Author note: if you're liking the story so far please vote on the chapters !!
also sorry for the last two chapters they've been a bit gloomy, uh this one is no better sorry again !!

Sharing a bed with Nancy is probably the most frustrating thing Robin has had to do.
She technically came out to Nancy, not a word has been spoken about it, but she thinks the older girl is okay with it considering she doesn't mind sharing the bed but damn Nancy and her big doe eyes because Robin isn't getting out of sleeping in the same bed.
Her hair, still damp from the shower, clings to Robin and Nancy moves a fuck tonne in her sleep. Becoming mad Robin pokes Nancy ribs, waking her.

“For fucks sake, Princess,” she whispers harshly. “Keep still.”

She grabs her finger, bending it back.

“Sleep on the floor, Buckley, if it’s such a big deal.”

Robin gulps.
She decides she doesn’t care that Nancy moves much, actually.

*****

With the four of them packed into the car it feels a lot less like the world has ended. Nancy hums the tune to a song only she seems to know. Dustin keeps trying to start up a game of I-spy but exhausts his options quickly due to their desolate surroundings. Robin’s pretty sure Lucas has fallen asleep but he doesn’t talk much anyway so she’s not sure. It feels like a family. A weird, half-crazy family that murders zombies on the daily.

*****

Dustin shrieks and Nancy’s running and vaulting the counter of the restaurant to get to him before she even realises it.

There’s a walker at his feet. There’s a bite on his shoulder.

Lucas and Robin fight behind her but their sounds are muffled by the dread that is surging through her veins. They're outside and have no clue what she now has to do. Dustin looks at her with wide, desperate eyes. His jaw clenches and his eyes become solid, accepting. Nancy cups his soft cheek with her palm as tears threaten and Dustin leans towards her touch. "At least I'll have gone out like the greats my fellow comrade Eddie, you would've loved him" he whispers. He pulls his eyes away from the ground towards her face.

“Do it,” he whispers. She can’t hear him but she watches his lips move. She sees his eyes travel over her cheek. He’s following the path of a tear she let slip. His head bends further into her touch. “Please.”

She swallows, hard. Shaky hands reach for the gun in her waistband. She won’t use the machete. Won’t see his still human head fall to the ground. He closes his eyes, cheek still in her hand. A tear silently travels down his face into her palm. She won’t leave him waiting like this.

Her gunshot strikes him through the heart and the sounds she had drowned out burst back and ricochet off her eardrums. All she can do is hold Dustin in her arms as he slumps against her body.

*****

Robin grins at Lucas as they slice through the last walker in the building. Lucas looks proud as he holds out a hand for Robin to high-five.

“Thanks for all your help, guys.” Robin calls sarcastically as she heads to the front of the restaurant. She frowns when Nancy and Dustin are nowhere in sight. She’s moving towards the door when she sees Nancy's legs behind the counter.

“Nancy?” She’s sitting on the ground, Dustin’s head in her lap and tears down her cheeks. With glazed over eyes she runs a bloody hand through Dustin’s hair. “Nancy.” Robin’s softer this time, crouching down in front of her.

“What’s going o-” Lucas stops short, mouth still open. He freezes there, barely blinks. The entire room is silent and still, the only movement Nancy’s ceaseless hand though Dustin’s hair. It stays this way for moments, hours, years. Lucas crumbles and he lets out a choked sound. Nancy's head whips up and her eyes focus again, their steel wavering. Lucas cries silently and it’s as if the world is on mute. When Lucas releases an animal-like scream it shatters the air. The shards of air fall down on them, suffocating them under their weight.

“Lucas, I’m so sorry,” Nancy breathes in a voice that’s as broken as the air. He doesn’t hear her as he scrambles over to the body of his best friend, his brother. Robin stands stiff, not sure if she remembers how to move. They’ll need to cut of Dustin’s head. Fuck. How the fuck will they do that? How the fuck did Nancy do that to her best friend, to her brother?

Robin’s so caught up in her own thoughts she doesn’t notice Lucas wrap his hand around Nancy’s discarded gun but then Lucas is holding the gun to his own head and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Lucas” It’s Nancy and her voice is not shaking like it was a moment ago. “Don’t you leave us too”. If Lucas pulls that trigger it will be the second time Nancy has seen someone she loves put a bullet through their head. It will be the second life she couldn’t save today. She won’t let that happen.

"Lucas,” Robin’s voice is soft. "Lucas, you mean so fucking much to us, we can’t loose you. I know it hurts, Lucas, I know. It’s all so fucking shitty right now but that means it can only get better. It’s only up, Lucas” she shuffles forward, closer to the boy breaking before her. She knows those works are hollow, they have no meaning in a world a destroyed as this but she has to try something.

“Listen to me Lucas, Dustin would want you to keep going. I know you can, Lucas. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Fuck, you gave me a high-five after wiping out an entire room of walkers. Killing yourself won’t show that you loved Dustin. Continuing to live despite how much it pains you is how you show how much you love him.” Robin’s not sure when she started crying but lines of salty tears flow down her cheeks and gather at her lips. Lucas' eyes are open again and watery with tears. “Please, Lucas. Please don’t leave us.”
It may be one the the most selfish things Robins done but if it stops the young man in front of her from pulling that trigger it's worth everything. Robin doesn’t know what she’s doing. The situation’s so fragile and she’s scared that her big, messy hands will fuck it all up. Shes too clumsy when it comes to firearms.

A breath, two.

Lucas drops the gun. It clatters against the ground, metal and concrete until Nancy tucks it into her jeans. They sit there behind that counter for what seems like centuries, these three broken people and one dead boy. They sit there until Nancy’s voice slices through the air.

“It will happen soon,” she whispers.

Robin knows what she means. “Go out to the car. I’ll take care of it.”

Nancy has to practically drag Lucas out to the car but she manages and soon it’s only Robin and what once was Dustin.

“I’m sorry, buddy,” she whispers into the empty air. “You deserved better.”

When she leaves Dustin’s head and Dustin’s body are no longer attached.