𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞

12

My head is spinning and it feels like I'm about to die,so basically after drinking a lot last night I got a stomach upset and a bloody headache.

One thing about fighting with your sibling is that you can't really talk to them or ask them for help,after that night I ditched him,he got home and started throwing a tantrum and we haven't really talked since then because I was still dam pissed seeing him with Leo,it's like it's all happening again.

When my mother left,I don't even k know how long it's been.I got introduced to it by Leo back then we were still friends and then I got in and so did Tony but when you do things like this danger is always around the corner and I lost someone because of that and ever since I didn't see Leo again but we both didn't continue until now that just found out and the worst part is that Tony is in it too,I can't lose another person again but who am I to tell Leo or Tony what to do after all it is my fault I lost my best friend and he's brother,so I'm definitely not going to lose my brother.

I roll on the other side of my bed and spot something from the corner of my eyes,it was drugs but not mine.My mind immediately ran to Tony who probably forgot it here,I didn't think to much about it and get up.

I put on my hoodie which slightly had a different smell,remembering it was the one I gave Fei.I lay back down on the bed,I think I'm gonna skip class today,lesson learned.Don't drink too much kids.

A paper slipped out from my hoodie and I pick it up,i flipped it over and realized what the picture was.It was a pic of my younger self with Leo and Mikey.I kept telling myself that I'm afraid of heights,using that as an excuse not to go to he's burial but now I flew over seas and now I'm in the same place were he lays.Call me selfish but I couldn't bare to see he's body in a coffin and now this brings back memories.

I get off my bed again taking the keys to my car and head downstairs "don't do anything stupid that will get us all in trouble"was all I said to Tony before leaving,i get in the car and turn on the gps to Derry Cemetery,I'd seen it on the little note I was given along with photos of us together back then when everything was okay.
XXXX
I let out a sigh and sit on the grass next to the stone which laid in the ground,it was he's Mikey Cape.What was i doing here,did I ever have a right to be here.

"Hey buddy long time"I say in a low tone fencing the urge to break down at start crying.

"Sorry I never got to say goodbye sorry you ended up like this,I'm sorry I came into your life maybe it would have turned out different and you'll still be alive and Leo don't be this way"I know you probably wish you never met me and if I'm being honest I don't blame you for that.

"Judging from what you just said I'm guessing you guys were close"

I look behind me and see a girl with s basket and a scarf around her hair.

"Sorry I didn't mean to ease drop"she purges.

"It's okay,did you know him"I ask.

"Yeah he was my little cousin"she says.

"I'm sorry"I say as guilt ate me up from the inside "why"she asks placing a hand on my shoulder.

"He meant a lot to you and now he's gone"

"Yes I cry everyday wishing whosoever shot him will die and feel my pain but I know he's in a better place and I'll see him soon and so will you so don't say goodbye"she smiles.

But I'm the reason he's dead.

Back story.
Me and Tony stood outside the bar as a bunch of men surrounded us,i rest my head on the pavement waiting for him to show up.

Right now I ditched Mikey to go deliver some drugs so I can get paid and finally be able to cover up the loan I owed and once that's done I can start afresh maybe even get a job or do something.Not long Cyrus shows up with a bag which I'm guessing is my pay up.He had he's thick black hair slicked to the bag and a cigarette in he's mouth.