All For The Cameras (Zariana)

Chapter 27

This chapters song -
Amnesia - 5 Seconds Of Summer

ZAYN

I didn't know exactly why I did it, I just knew I needed to, I might have done something extremely stupid if I had stayed in that house any longer, I had to get out.

Right as I exited the house, as soon as I slammed the door, I heard Ariana's sobs, and it took every single ounce of self control not to go in there, and grab her and kiss her and tell her everything was okay.

My mind was racing a thousand miles a minute, and I wasn't thinking clearly and I didn't know what to do.

Louis flat was the only thing I could think of in the midst of everything swirling around in my brain right now.

His place wasn't far, being in the same area, it was a little less than a block away, so I decided to walk because I forgot my keys inside and didn't feel like going back in there, knowing that if I saw Ariana, all my insides would melt and I wouldn't be able to help myself from feeling bad and crawling right back; even though I though I'd learned my lesson the first time around when it came to these things.

I arrived at Louis flat, and I shakily knocked on the door, willing the tears not to fall from my eyes.

Louis opened the door and his eyes widened at the sight of my face, "Zayn?"

I just shook my head as everything inside me fell apart and tears fell.

Louis shook his head sadly and let out a sigh, "C'mom mate."

I came in and sat down on the sofa glancing around.

"El's not here, she's visiting family." Louis told me, noticing that I was looking.

"Do you want to tell me just what happened?" Louis asked, sitting down across from me.

"She thinks I'm leading her on," I sighed, not knowing where to start.

"So what I'm hearing is you completely ignored what I said about getting attached?" He asked and rolled his eyes.

I just nodded solemnly. It was true no matter how hard I tried to deny it.

"You two are in a short contract; a year is basically nothing. It's over in what three months?" Louis asked, "That's nothing."

"What if I'm in love with her though?" I asked the question I had been choking back for months.

"Do you know why I told you not to get attached when you first started this?" I shook my head, "I told you because falling in love would make it that much harder to say goodbye. Or if you get in a fight under contract and have to go out and pretend that everything is all happy as ever. It's hard after you've fallen in love, it makes it a whole lot easier if you don't."

I shook my head, extremely disappointed in myself.

Noticing my expression, Louis added, "But it's not our faults. Sometimes we can't help it."

I nodded my head, it hadn't really made me feel all that better though.

"Do you love her," Louis asked, looking up.

"Define love, Louis."

"Did you love Perrie?" He pressed, ignoring my previous question.

"I thought I did.. but now what I feel for Ariana, I think this is love. I thought love was when you wanted to be with someone all the time and be absolutely perfect with no fighting what so ever. That was my perspective on love ever since I can remember but she has messed me up, you know? I didn't know what love was before this but she makes me realize; love isn't needing someone twenty four seven. It's knowing that even when you aren't with them that you can trust them with all your heart. Love is when you want to scream and tear someone to shreds but you know that it'll be over; love is knowing when to pick your battles. Or not. Love makes you stupid and blind. It's the best and the worst feeling in the world. This is love. I try to convince myself that she feels the same way but she doesn't; she can't. She won't even say it back to me." I finished. Love is a tricky and terrible and amazing and terrifying and thrilling thing and in the end it's all worth it. I hope, I add mentally.

"You need to sleep, think about what exactly you want. You don't know, Ariana doesn't know and you sure as hell don't know. Sleep on it and we can talk about it in the morning okay?" Louis asked, eyeing me cautiously.

"Okay," I sighed, making a move to get up off the couch to head to Louis' guest bedroom,"Where do you think she is?"

Louis looked caught off guard with the question, "I don't know. Probably regretting whatever the hell this fight was about. I would guess that she's in about the same position as you."

I nodded, thanking him for the reassurance.

"Goodnight."

***

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!