The Kingdoms (Prince Merlin Fanfic)

Chapter 12: The Exchange

"Gwen?" I spun around to see her.

"You're the prince, Merlin? That makes sense, but why are you keeping it a secret?" She asked.

"It's because I don't know how Arthur will react, especially after I kept my magic from him too."

"So keeping it until the last moment will make it any better?" I had no reply for Gwen. "I doubt it would make a difference."

"You won't tell Arthur, will you?" Ezy asked.

"No, that's Merlin's job," she smiled, "although I'm surprised you didn't tell me, Ezy, of all people."

"I'm sorry, Gwen," Ezy looked guilty.

"It's alright."

We joined the others who had found a room in the ruins that would not crumble now and then and was stable enough for us to spend the night. "So if Samuel can tell the future weather, can the rest of you do something like that?" Arthur was saying when we arrived.

"The long line of Wyllt have always had stronger magic than most. Therefore, Ethan will have powerful magic. The rest of us aren't that impressive," informed James.

"We've not seen you do magic for long. You're probably more experienced now," Charles said to Ethan.

"Yeah..." he trailed off with uncertainty.

"Show us something," requested Mordred.

"No..." Ethan began denying it.

"Yes, show us!" Jon insisted.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Go on, don't be modest!"

"You can't be worse than Merlin."

"I just can't!" Ethan exclaimed.

"You must have a reason."

"I CAN'T DO MAGIC!" He roared. Everyone stared at him anxiously, "sorry," he murmured and walked off.

"Is he alright?" Gwen worriedly asked once he was out of earshot.

"He's been like this since he found us. Quiet, sulky, reserved. He used to be the opposite," said Charlie, "sarcasm was the only language he spoke. Now it's just a straight answer or no answer."

"He was only eight when we lost him. We told him he didn't have to go on the mission, but he was headstrong. Ethan insisted," started James, "I remember how stubborn he was when the topic came up. He wouldn't budge no matter how many times we told him not to go."

James looked at me for a second, then continued. By that, I understood that the next bit was especially meant for me. "The day before he left, I asked him why he was so determined to go, and he confided in me. He said he wanted to prove himself because when compared to his brother, he felt small. He went on the mission because he wanted to show that he could do something as impressive as his brother. Emrys was not only the best swordsman in all the kingdoms but also was known for his outstanding magic. Everyone expected Ethan to be as great as him, and he wanted to live up to those expectations," finished James.

A gut feeling entered my stomach. Ethans leaving was my fault, Ethan losing his home was my fault, and Ethan being lost and lonely was all my fault. I wished Ezy would stop giving me pitying looks from the side. Most of the room's eyes turned to me, and those who didn't know who 'Emrys' was were oblivious to it. "Didn't you know that he couldn't do magic?" Mordred asked.

"Not until now. Ethan used to have magic, and it was fine," mused Charlie.

"Should someone go bring him back?" Arthur questioned doubtfully.

"We should leave him alone for a while," suggested Sam.

By sunset, Ethan had still not returned, and I knew I would have to get him because of those hints and looks everyone kept giving me saying, 'go talk to him'. Ezy and I had a quiet conversation after the revelation from James. "Did you know before James told us?" She had asked.

"No."

"You're going to go talk to him, right?" Ezy asked, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"I'll go if he doesn't come back to sleep," I had replied, but it had been a few hours since then, and I had to go.

"Merlin," Gwen came up to me.

"I'm going to talk to him," I said while holding my arms up in surrender.

"That's not what I came to say, although you probably should. I wanted to see that you were alright because, as far as I have heard, you and your brother don't have one of the best relationships. I don't fully understand what's going on."

"Ethan's been ignoring me since they came to Camelot, and I don't know why. On the day they came, he called me selfish for wanting to stay in Camelot instead of coming with them, and we haven't had another conversation. I didn't know that Ethan couldn't do magic 'till now. I have not seen him in nine years, and in those years, he has changed more than you could imagine," I sighed.

"I'm sure the both of you will figure it out once you talk to each other. You are brothers after all," consoled Gwen.

"Thanks."

Everyone was asleep, and Ethan still wasn't back. Percy-who was on night watch- had urged me to go as I hesitated, and Mordred told me to take a bowl of food for Ethan, which I carried in my hands. I quietly tip-toed through the dead leaves, searching for a skinny figure in the dark. I spotted Ethan sitting on a log not too far away, his head in his hands. I carefully took a seat beside him. "You can't do magic?" I whispered. Ethan's hands slid upwards from his face, onto his forehead, and he shook his head miserably. "Since when?" I slowly asked.

He sighed and leaned against the tree trunk behind him. "I don't know. I suppose it happened after we were attacked, on that day. I wandered around trying to figure out where I was so I could get home but to no avail. Then, I tried to contact you, but it just wouldn't work. I sat under a tree just like this one trying, begging, sobbing for hours, but no one heard me. The magic connection had broken. An hour, a day, a week, a month and then a year. I saw and heard from none of you. You didn't come for me, and I believed everyone forgot about me and that they were happy I was gone."

New tears cover the already dry ones on his cheeks. I wanted to say something, but he cut me off. "Scenarios formed in my mind, maybe the attack was planned, and you just wanted to get rid of me. For years all I saw were trees and bushes. It drove me crazy! I couldn't sleep every night. Images of the dead bodies plagued my dreams. I killed lots too, mostly animals but sometimes people. My sword skills came in handy when I was kidnapped-multiple times- and when I escaped, I ran and ran, passing tree after tree, forest after forest.

"Do you know what it's like to be alone? To be lost? To be abandoned? Being stuck in a world of unknown danger, without any hope of surviving? I know what it's like because I spent years living like that! I never had the life I think I deserved! I never even thought I'd live this long after all the pain I've been through," he finally whispered.

I stared, trying to absorb the information. I felt unsure if saying something would make the situation worse or better. Instead, I said, "I brought food," and offered the bowl of rabbit meat.

Ethan snorted, "expect you to say something like that," but he took the bowl.

We sat in silence whilst Ethan steadily finished the food. "You good?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Probably," he replied.

"Good," I murmured.

"You?"

"Great."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"We should get going."

"We should." We got up and gradually walked back to camp. Each of us settled into our bed rolls once we got there. Gwaine gave me a curious look from behind the fire where he was keeping watch. I returned it with a grin. The exchange was awkward, but it could've gone worse.

Omg, it's been ages since I updated. Thank you for waiting, guys. I'm trying to get back into the routine of writing every week, but hopefully, I'll get the next chapter done soon.