𝙅𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙛𝙞𝙚𝙡𝙙

Unrequited Love?

I sat down on a bench outside of Hawkin's High, taking off my headphones and listening to the talking of random crowds. I looked around and saw Steve walking towards me. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Does he not get the hint? I thought. He sat next to me and started to speak. "Lucas told me." He looked hurt.. I mean, I couldn't blame him but he could at least understand what 'don't talk to me' means. "Then why are you here?" I responded. He did the usual soft scratch on his cheek does when he's unsure of something. "Because I don't believe it." He wasn't wrong... I didn't mean it but I didn't want to keep ignoring him. I stayed silent. What was I supposed to say? "So you don't want anything to do with me?" He added. He went to reach for my hand but I moved it away and shook my head. He looked at me, puzzled, as if he didn't understand basic words. I shrugged and put my headphones back on. I watched as he got up and walked away.

As I walked towards the bathroom, I felt someone push me inside and close the door behind them. "What the fuck?" I yelled and turned around- Of course.. It was Steve. Clearly words only made sense to him for 30 minutes and that's it. "Why are you doing this, Jules?" He asked with a sad expression on his face. He grabbed my waist and dragged me closer towards him. I pushed him away slightly and shook my head. "Everyone expects me to be normal!" I replied. "Thats them... Not me." His hand moved up to my cheek and I pushed it away. "I haven't spoken to you for three months, Harrington... How are you still holding on? You've left gifts at my door, every day, for those three months. Why? How?!" I stepped away from him but he just came close again. "You're grieving." He started to speak with a whisper. I guess he didn't want any girls knowing he was in here.. They would have freaked out!! "Yeah, I am. But it doesn't explain why you've shown up at my house for.. 92 days! Aren't you sick of me ignoring you? I would have moved on by now. I'm sure you have a line of girls waiting to be your girlfriend. I've thrown away the gifts... I don't want them. I'm sure you've seen them in the trash anyway." I kept on ranting... I could tell it was hurting his feelings because he looked at me like I was someone else. "You.. threw them away?" His hand moved back to my cheek, his thumb slowly stroking it. "Are you really that hopelessly in love with me? Because if you are, it's one sided." I went to move his hand but he did it himself, shaking his head. "You don't love me?" When he spoke, it sounded like his voice was made of gravel. His clear tone was undercut with a choking heaviness that forced him to pause several times before speaking. His watery eyes closed and a single tear, as clear as spring water flowed down his cheeks. "How haven't you caught on? Three. Months. Steve." Seeing him hurt like this caused my eyes to form tears but I quickly blinked them away. "Jules..." He gave me one last glance before turning around and leaving the bathroom. I leant on the sink and felt a single tear roll down my cheek. I looked up towards the ceiling as more tears starting streaming down my face. Why am I crying? I thought. I don't... love him. Do I?

A few hours after I got home, I tied my hair up and sat down at my desk. I had asked Jonathan to print some small sized pictures I had on my camera and he so nicely agreed. I took them out the packet he placed them in and opened my photo book. I decided to create pages dedicated to Billy, Max and Eddie. As I started to stick the photos down, I remembered the memories, I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I giggled at some of them. That is until I heard a knock at my window. I looked over and saw Steve. I quickly wiped the tear and opened it. "What are you doing here?" I shook my head. I can't believe he climbed my wall just to talk to me. "Did you not get the hint when I said I don't love you?" I continued. God, he just never gives up. I moved out the way as he climbed through. "I thought about it." He stood up straight and smiled. "Then I realised... Anyone you've loved, has died." He looked proud of himself and he should be- That's the exact reason I was pushing everyone away.. How can he read me so clearly? I thought.

"I have no idea what you mean by that." I laughed. He was sprawled out on my bed as I sat on the corner. He was looking at me how he used to.. In love. "It's simple." He stated as he looked through the photos. "You, July Mayfield, still love me. I know you're pushing me away." He put them in neat piles and moved them to the side, sitting up. "What gave you that idea?" I gasped sarcastically. "Don't push me away... please." He whispered. I looked away and sighed. "I'l... try." He grabbed my bear and pulled a sad face, holding the bear beneath his chin, wiggling his arms. I laughed and shook my head. "I hate you, Harrington." I could tell he was holding in his laugh. "Is mine and the bear's face not cute enough? I mean, it's basically cuteness overload!" He put the bear back and moved closer to me. "Oh no, it's so insanely cute that it makes me want to cry." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Can we resume back to where we were, Jules?" He put his hand on mine and I looked down at it, then back up to him and nodded. "But don't blame me if you end up dying." I chuckled. He laughed too and put his hand on my cheek, leaning in and kissing me gently.