Scarcity of Chances

Chapter 37

"Are you dating that Red Phoenix Soccer Team Captain?"

Napatingin ako kay Gelsie na nakaupo sa aking tabi. We've been seat mate for several days now. In college, there's no seating arrangement because we move from one class to another. It's just that, we're from the same block and she likes seating beside me. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo dahil gusto ko rin naman siya katabi kahit na madalas ay ang dami niyang sinasabi.

Apparently, she saw me and Kylo together a little earlier when he accompanied me to our building. Sa tanong at tingin niyang mapaglaro na mapanuri, siguradong may iba siyang iniisip.

"Kylo? No, we're not dating."

"Well you look like you're going out," she insinuated. "I rarely see you smile like that since the first day of class."

"We're just friends," tugon ko sa may pagkamalamlam na tinig.

"Ooh, what's with the dejected tone?"

I sighed at Gelsie's roguishness. I am not annoyed. It's just that, I don't know what to say. I denied her presumption because that's the truth. But why do I feel sad about the truth? Na gaya ng sinabi niya, I sounded dejected?

Of course, it's because you like him, Irvine. When you like someone, wishing that you're dating is normal, right?

What if Kylo didn't lose his memories? Could it be that we're dating right now if it weren't for what happened?

Posible rin kaya na pareho kami ng nararamdaman? I mean, knowing Kylo, he wouldn't kiss me that night if he doesn't feel the same way as I do. He's not like Hans who'll give someone mixed signals as if it's a normal thing to do.

And he brought me flowers! The one he, unfortunately, failed to give me because of the accident.

Damn, living with a lot of what-ifs just sucks. And the fact that it's normal for a normal human being makes it worse.

"I'm not dejected," tanggi ko sa pangalawang pagkakataon.

"If you say so. I'm just shocked, if ever. You know I heard back then that he prefers dating girls from other universities."

I bit the insides of my cheek. I think I already heard that before. Hindi ko na lang maalala kung kailan. Ang kaso, e, hindi ako sigurado kung totoo ba 'yan o sabi-sabi lang.

But if in any way that it's true, I don't it matters. Though I would be lying if I won't admit that there's a fraction of my heart that feels jealous of the previous girls he dated. However, there's just nothing I can do about it.

Hindi ko naman mababalik ang panahon at pigilan siyang makipagrelasyon sa iba. The only thing I can do was to learn to accept and get over it.

Kylo's past is a part of him that'll never be erased. And liking him includes liking that part of him too.

"Ang dami mong alam na chismis 'no?" puna ko na lang.

Humulakhak siya. "What can I do? I don't drink teas but teas love me."

"Saan mo nasasagap 'yon?"

"Kung saan-saan lang. And did you forget that I spent my high school years here? That earned me a lot of friends and acquaintances."

Hindi ko man gusto ay bigla kong naalala sa kanya si Shannon. Kung sabagay, nabanggit niya noon na mag-pinsan sila. Iyon nga lang, hindi sila malapit o sa ibang salita ay mag-kaaway pa nga. Gayunpaman, may pagkakapareho sila.

Gelsie and Shannon are both friendly, talkative, and jester. It's just that, I didn't know that the latter had ill intentions.

Sa palagay ko naman, hindi gano'n si Gelsie. Pero hindi ko pa rin masasabi talaga lalo pa't nagbabago ang mga tao. Tignan mo si Shannon. We've been friends since high school but she still betrayed me.