Phrases

The tales of a broken person / Los cuentos de una persona rota

N/A: I'm sorry, I know it's been ages since the last time I uploaded a new phrase or corrected the ones already posted, but life got even more complicated and I just needed to get some things out of my system so I wrote about it and since I have no one to show it to I decided I will just publish it in here.

PD: Please, bear with me, English is not my first language, but I feel more comfortable writing in English than in Spanish

PD2: I'm NOT a regular writer, so this may be a attempt to a poem but it really is my thougths as clearer as I could got them.

N/A: Lo lamento, ya sé que ha pasado una eternidad desde la ultima vez que actualicé ocorregí alguna frase que ya hubiese publicado, pero la vida se me complicó aún más y solo necesitaba sacar algunas cosas de mi sistema, así que escribí al respecto y como no tengo a nadie a quién enseñarle, decidí publicarlo aquí.

PD: Porfa, tengan paciencia conmigo, el inglés no es mi primer idioma, pero siempre me he sentido más cómoda expresandome en inglés que en español, así que es probable que en español no suene tan bonito como se pretendía en el idioma que fue originalmente escrito [inglés]. Lo estaré traduciendo en los próximos días.

PD2: NO soy una escritora regular por lo que no tengo técnica ni práctica, así que esto puede parecer un intento de poema pero en realidad son mis pensamientos lo más ordenado y claro que los pude plasmar.

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The first crack came at age of 5.
An innocent little girl who sees her world crumbles
Her father. Gone. Her mother. Trying to get to rid of them. Her brother. Trying to keep everything together.
She is never the same.

The second crack came 2 years later.
She is seven and her dad is back.
Suddenly, she has a new sister she never wanted to know.
And her mother is falling apart.
And her brother is locked in his own world.
She learns those who you love are the ones that hurt you.

The third, fourth, fifth crack came and she doesn't even know when.
Was it everytime her parents fought?
Was it when her mother told her all about the things her father did?
Was it when she heard her father hurting her mother?
Was it when her brother walked the wrong path?
Was it the multiple things her mind blocked for her own good?
She is 8, 9, 10 and she doesn't know how she got there.

The next cracks came along the years.
Nobody knows where she got them from.
She is feeling pressure.
Miss know-it all. That's how people call her.
It was supposed to be an escape.
But she became the nerd with no friends.

Constant bullying.
She hates herself.
She is not pretty anymore.
She is not social anymore.
She becomes quiet.
Nobody notices.
How could they?
Her mother suffers all day everyday.
Her father doesn't seen to notice she notices.
Her brother is consumed by alcohol and bad friendships.
She is too smart for her own good.

She is 14. She doesn't know how many cracks she has.
Sun seems to shine.
Her father leaves.
In good terms this time.
She can't help it but she loves him.
Her mother stars recovering.
At least she is getting out of bed now.
Her brother gets his life back and starts a family.
A little nephew who brigths her life.
She thinks she can make it.

But the wounds are deep.
And they have been there for so long.
She tries but it is helpless
She is 15, 16, 17 and she is no capable of get over things.
She is still not pretty.
She is still a know-it all.
She thinks she has friends.
But nobody gets her.
She thinks she has found someone to love.
But he already has someone else.
The cracks are now numberless.

She is first in her class.
Graduated with honors.
All her family ever wanted for her.
But she is empty.
She feels no love.
She feels unworthy.
She is everything no one wants.

Her mother is okay now.
Her father is okay now.
Her brother is okay now.
At least as okay as they can be.

She is needed. Always has been.
No food in the cupboard.
No money in the purse.
Debts. Lots of them.
Thats why she has been working for years.
She does what she knows best.
She teaches. After all, she is a know-it all.
But still. She is empty.

Time to go to college.
A new chance to feel something.
Her mother is still okay.
Her father is still okay.
And her brother gives her a little niece to sparks her world.
She is trying.
And she swears she will do it for those who call her auntie.

She is 19 and she has lost count of the cracks she has.
But suddenly, he appears.
He is the most beautiful thing she has ever lay her eyes on.
His smile.
His eyes.
His voice.
She feels what real love is.
He makes her believe she is beautiful.
He makes her believe she is worthy.
He makes her believe her intelligence is a wonderful gift.
She falls.
Deep and hard.
And the cracks don't seem that bad anymore.

But he is far.
She has never touched him or kissed him.
Miles and miles keep the separate, away.
And she suffers.
He stops being her reason to smile.
And becomes her reason to cry.
Cry because they can not be together.
And all those cracks come back again, shattered even more in thousand pieces when he decides is best for them to not talk anymore.

She is empty. Heartbroken.
She has tasted heaven and now is back in hell.
College is killing her.
Stress is consuming her.
And she is alone.
Her mother is still okay.
Her father is still okay.
Her brother is still okay.
And those who call her auntie are still her reason to keep trying even though she is tired.

She changes her strategy again.
This time she doesn't want to believe in love.
She wants to prove herself she is pretty.
She wants to prove herself that she can get them.
So she does.
She becomes what people would call a slut.
She plays with boys.
Her bullies can't call her fat and ugly anymore.

But she is a broken person after all.
And she attracts broken people.
And she understands them.
They become her weakness.
Show her she still cares.
And she doesn't want to play with those who finally get her.
So she only plays with those who see her as a prize.

She is 23 now.
And she had learnt how to love every single piece of her broken soul.
She is starting to feel again.
Her depressions are not so long anymore.
Her anxiety still consumes her.
But she is learning how to fight it.
She now thinks she is pretty.
She now loves being a nerd.
She isn't quiet anymore.

Time has thaught her.
She is still learning.
And her mother is not so okay.
And her father is not so okay.
And her brother is not so okay.
But neither she is.
She is a broken person.
And that is okay.

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If you get 'till here. Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it. ❤