OCs Ramblings

Disappointing

"Your lack of progress is somewhat disappointing, dear", Cruz said, his tone flat.

"I know, it's just-a few budget cuts happened, and I have to focus on my other upcoming project and-".

"I didn't ask for excuses, Jesse", Cruz snaps, his voice harsh. "You should know, more than anyone, that I value actions over promises".

He values results, he values progress, he values peace, he values his image, he values the organization.

He values everything but her.

"I do know that, however, you know this was going to take up a lot of time, I've been trying my best to finish it as fast as possible but with the budget cuts and limited-".

"I want it done by the end of the year, that's almost five months, if it's not, then I'll unfortunately have to scrap your other projects, and I don't want to do that, dear", Cruz says, strict as always.

As always.

"Fine", Jesse sighs.

It's fine.

Perhaps, this'll help her get more progress done. People do well under stress, right? She's done her own research about it, but she can't remember-

"Thank you, dear", Cruz smiles, it's so warm, it almost feels genuine.

Jesse can't remember what his real smile looks like anymore.

He places a hand on her shoulder, speaks a few words that feel like needles in her ears and leaves.

The door shuts behind him, the usual unheard noise now sounds like a bomb going off.

Jesse stares at the door for what feels like days.

Her legs can't move, if she moves, she'll fall, she can't-

She can't breathe.

Alexander eventually finds her.

Eventually. After what feels like weeks.

He says it's only been a day.

She can't breathe easily for a week after it.

--

Alexander leaves.

He resigns custody of Vander, Coco with and quits his job.

Jesse has listened to his rants about Oscar. About how Oscar never appreciates or thanks him for his work, which she can't relate to.

She honestly never expected him to leave.

He changed his number as well, he's off the grid.

She knows it'll be easy to find him, with her technology it'll be easy to find anyone.

But, she has to make plans, projects and progress-somuchfuckingprogress-she can't be distracted.

Her opinions, her emotions, her feelings have never mattered.

It's never mattered to her father, to her tutors, to her fellow colleagues, and not to Alexander, her only friend.

She hates...everyone. Everything.

Everything has been setting her off, a single noise can make her tear her hair out, her uniform is itchier than usual, everything is so bright-

That's not important, what's important is the Villains are attacking soon and she needs a solid plan.

She can't rant to Alexander anymore, she can't do anything but plan, plan, plan, plan

She hates Alexander, she hates her mom, she hates Oscar, she hates herself.