OCs Ramblings

Daniel Stoll & BPD

Borderline personality disorder is a painful thing that I also suffer with, so it's not surprise Daniel Stoll, a character I project heavily onto, might have it as well.

To be diagnosed with BPD, you must have 5 out of the 9 symptoms.

We'll review all nine and see if Daniel exhibits them.

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Fear of abandonment.
People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear.
This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one's movements, or even physically block the person from leaving.
Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect-driving others away.

Daniel is a heavily fearful individual, his biggest fear is Kalen leaving him. He will argue yet also feel despair once Kalen decides to leave, he desperately needs Kalen to stay and to never leave.

The thought of Kalen angers and scares him so heavily his mental health and even physical health deteriorates once Kalen and Jean start dating.

While he's not as frantic as most people with BPD are(including me), he still lashes out.

So I'd argue he does exhibit this symptom. 1/9.

Unstable relationships.
People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived.
You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed.
Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

Daniel absolutely does exhibit this symptom. While he idealized Kalen to an insane amount, the second he realized Kalen had feelings towards Jean, that idealization and almost worship cracked until the argument where he saw Kalen as nothing else but an asshole only to snap back to it once Kalen left.

That doesn't mean he doesn't love Kalen, he adores Kalen with all his heart. But his brain can only perceive him as a threat since he is...in a way, causing his distress.

Another symptom we can check off. 2/9.

Unclear or shifting self-image.
When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil.
You probably don't have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

Daniel is an interesting character when it comes to this. I think it does apply to him to some extent.

It's quieter than what some people would assume. One minute he's on top of the world, he feels great, competent, smart and whatever.

The next moment, when he does even something slightly wrong or when he realizes Kalen and Jean are crushing on each other; that self esteem goes down the drain.

He feels unworthy, so unworthy of Kalen, even when he's feeling great, he still thinks of himself as scum compared to Kal.

He compares himself to Jean and feels horrible, he feels dirty, disgusting and that's really what starts his downwards spiral, realizing how 'shitty' he is and seeing Jean, someone who he wants to be, fluster Kalen, someone he's had a crush on for years, probably made his self esteem highly unstable.