Sparkling Cosmos {A Torchwood Story Two} [COMPLETED]

12. Grief Is Immeasurable

I point and think again, and this time an electromagnetic pulse strikes the Cyber in the chest, where their life support system is. It gives me more time to dash to the autopsy room, tripping over the steps and landing lopsided on the floor, and check on Owen and Gwen.

Who are nowhere to be seen!

Suddenly I hear a phone ring, and a banging against one of the fridge doors before the phone slides out. I kneel down and open the door to find Owen and Gwen on top of each other, panting as much as I am. And I've just run from a Cyberman.
"What are you two doing?" I hiss, looking behind me and swearing I can hear footsteps.
"Hiding - what happened to you?" Gwen asks as a sidestep to my question, but I can't afford to go into it.

Not to be possessive, but I can smell her on Owen. Some Time Lord senses or whatever, I know it's not the right time but I can't help it. However I'm not given time to continue my train of thought when metal clamps round the back of my neck, and I begin to be dragged backwards.
"Owen!" I shout helplessly. I can fend for myself, but not again a metal monster. Owen yells after us and drives a stick into her fleshy stomach, causing her to drop me.

"What the hell was that?" Gwen asks, but it's directed at Owen this time.
"What?"
"Snogging me." My eyes widen and me and Owen exchange glances. He looks away.
"Last kiss with a condemned man. Clearly embarrassing given we haven't been killed." I cross my arms and he looks at the both of us.
"What? It's not like I fancy her."

Suddenly Lisa rises again, capturing Ianto who has rushed to her aid after being revived, and we all push him out of the room. We meet up with Jack, carrying a blowtorch and some barbeque sauce, and he pushes us all onto the stone lift that should take us up, provided Tosh has got the power working.

Thankfully she has. Ianto cries, threatens, even tries to actually beat Jack, but nothing deters the immortal. I've learned this by now.
The last thing I hear before we arrive above ground is, "Have some fucking mercy!"

Tosh runs to us and I almost fall into her arms, but I'm swayed offcourse by Ianto's fist connecting with Jack's face.
"You could have saved her!" he yells, his face shiny with sweat and tears. He points at Jack accusingly. "You're worse than anything locked up down there. One day, I'll have the chance to save you, and I'll watch you suffer and die."

I'm too tired to fight, we all are, but then Tosh speaks. "Listen. When I was at reception, I managed to trip the lockdown timer. The power should be coming back on any second. We can get back in."

He looks at all of us in determination, then sets off running below the quay.

We chase after him, almost tripping and rolling down the slope and slipping on the wooden boards before the building. We all burst through the door, and Ianto gets to the opening stone wall before us and points his gun at Jack.

We all watch him, silent.
I'm not worried about Jack, for obvious reasons, but I'm scared to death about Ianto. Nobody else knows about Lisa and him, not truly, and he'll do anything for her.
Suddenly, Jack jerks forward, knocks Ianto's gun out of his hand, pushes him against the wall, points his own gun at his head.

I don't even think. I take my gun out of my holster and point it at Jack.

Everyone gasps again, and both men look at me. My expression is fierce, and everybody knows I'm deadly serious.
Owen nears me slowly, breathing something along the lines of, "Evelina, put the gun down," in his serious gravelly voice, but my gaze is fixed on Jack, who's studying me with his gun still pressed against Ianto's head.

Eyes feeling like they're burning into Jack, I say darkly, "Put the gun down Jack. Ianto will do what he can. Ianto," I glance at my friend, whom I can see is terrified himself; "I understand what Lisa means to you, but even I admit she's too far gone. You can't do this alone - so I'm going in, and nobody is changing my mind. Now, everybody will put their guns down on the floor, together."
Everyone stares at me, silent, but the boys gradually drop their guns. I put mine on the ground, then move to Ianto's side.

I survey everyone: Tosh is frozen in place, glancing every so often at Jack; Gwen's eyes are wide and latched onto me, watching my every move closely, her police training kicking in; Owen is trying to edge toward me, presumably to stop me from going into the Hub to find a near-psychotic metal woman. But Jack...

Jack's just watching me. He won't stop me, I know. But he wants to know what I'm going to do.

I'm not telling him. Mostly because I don't really know myself.

Bending down, I pick up two guns and hand one to Ianto before securing one in my holster. I look at Ianto, pick up and hold his hand, hover my other hand near my holster, and bore my eyes into Jack's.

I'm daring him to halt me, to make me stop, and of course he doesn't. He knows better by now than to mess with me when I make a decision.

Slowly, the door opens, and I start to gently pull Ianto's hand. He eventually tears his gaze away from Jack and onto me, and together we walk into and through the corridor. The door closes as we reach the lift, and we look at each other. He's panicked and scared, so I squeeze his hand.
"We'll figure it out. I promise."

We both walk slowly up the stairs, the lift shut down with the power, and I'm scared shitless. I can't deny it. I don't know what's going to happen. Now that my memories are back I remember the Cybermen, fearless and robotic; nothing stands in their way of domination. I know Ianto will see none of that. He will always see his precious Lisa, his one weakness, his love.

Once we get into the Hub, we immediately spot the pizza boxes and look at each other. Where's the pizza delivery person?
At the same realization, we run into the basement room and are met with the empty form of Lisa lying on the cold ground, covered and surrounded in blood.
I gasp loudly, too shocked to cover my mouth, and Ianto kneels and hugs her body. His face turns damp with tears, and I fight to keep mine dry.

"Ianto?"
Our heads pop up, and a delivery girl appears with a massive scar lining her head. We both put up our guns, but I can tell Ianto's wavering. I am myself.
The girl continues, scared. "You fought so hard for me, I had to hold on for you, so I took this body and transplanted the brain."
"You're not Lisa," my friend persuades himself. He's struggling so hard it breaks my heart.

The girl smiles sadly. "You always said you didn't love me for what I looked like. Last time you said that, it was a Saturday. We were hungover. You made cheese toasties, and moaned I hadn't descaled my kettle. That night, we camped on a beach in Brittany. It got so freezing we wore our coats and shared one sleeping bag. When we woke up the next morning, a dog was pissing on our tent."
She walks up to him, me still in shock holding up a gun to her, and she says, "Hold me, Ianto. I need you to hold me. I need you to tell me it's all right."

He can't hold on any longer, and collapses into her arms. I hold my fire, tears lining my eyes, scared and confused for the first time since my transition. I don't know what to do.
But Ianto decides for us. With immeasurable strength, he breaks apart from her and holds a gun up to her, mirroring me.
The girl, perhaps Lisa, perhaps not, stares down at it in sadness.
"What are you doing? Ianto, it's me. You wouldn't shoot me. I did this for you."
"I'm sorry, Lisa," Ianto cries.

But before we fire our guns, shots are fired from behind us, and she falls to the mainframe, dead as she hits the floor.
I look behind me to see the rest of the team, and understand.

Ianto falls to the ground, and I'm reminded of the first time I killed an alien, but this time his grief is worse because it's someone he loves. He loves Lisa with all his heart - obeyed her, protected her, defended her. His whole world has just been destroyed by the very people he works with. I feel so guilty, but I know this couldn't have happened any other way.

I walk over to him, the only one to do so. I sit next to him and wrap my arms round him. He crumples into me, wailing monstrously, going completely limp as he falls over from his grief. I look to Lisa on the floor and the poor girl she transplanted her brain into, both lying dead. And I cry too.

I can tell everyone else but Jack is looking away guiltily; I know Jack is staring straight at the scene, at Ianto falling apart, at me holding him, at the dead Cyber in front of us. And the scariest part is that I truly don't know if Jack feels guilty.