Yellow, Pink, and Orange

Chapter 11

When I had finally woken up from the unconsciousness, I couldn't feel anything past my legs. The pain on my top half, felt like I was on fire again. Everything on my body looked crusty and was falling off. I could see the the bandages on some parts of my body, even though I couldn't feel them. When the doctor and a few of the nurses came in, they had looks of pity on their faces.

"Hello, Mr. Cade. How are you feeling?" asked the doctor.

I stared at him. That was a stupid question. "I don't know. I can't feel anything." I croaked.

He sighed. "I thought so." He looked down at his clipboard and said, "You are in critical condition. Your back was broken due to that piece of timber. You are suffering from third-degree burns. We are doing everything we can to ease the pain for you." He looked up at me again and sighed. "To put it simply, Mr. Cade, you are dying. If you did survive, somehow, than... you would be severely crippled for the rest of your life." 

I knew I was dying. It felt like I just had a soul and not a body. But I didn't wanna die. A few days ago I was talking about killing myself. But now I am scarred to face the consequences of my actions. I always though about killing myself, but I knew that it would make me seem weak. But that's what I am, weak. A weak loser. The only other time I was scared of dying, was when I was jumped.

I'm only scared of death when I'm truly dying.

"Has anyone come to visit yet. Ponyboy? Dallas?"

"No not yet. They have their own problems to clear up first. They also need rest, but you need the most. Don't move any part of your body. My nurses will do everything for you." Through out the day I kept asking if anyone had come an they would always say "Yes, but you are not in shape to see them right now."

The next day I felt worse than I did before. Everything hurt 10x worse. I had a massive headache and I could barely keep my eyes opened. I would ask if anyone had come to see me, until one of the nurses finally said yes.

It was Tim. I was never close with Tim. The first time I had met him, I was going to get cokes with Dally. He scared me. I respected him, but he still scared me. His gang scared me to. It was more of like an army in the military with a commander, rather than a gang with a "leader". Our gang was a group of friends who loved each other like family. He's cool though. He kinda reminds me of Dally, but Dally's a southern gentlemen, Tim's not.

I guess he could tell I was confused and said, "I came to visit Dallas to show him the paper, cause you guys are in it." He held it up in front of my face and said, "They called you 'Juvenile delinquents turned heroes.' They got a bunch of people defending you and stuff." There were pictures of me, Pony, Dallas, Soda, and Darry. 

I tried to smile, "Thanks Tim."

"No problem." I could feel him looking at my burns before he said. "There's gonna be a big rumble later. My gang is helping you guys out. It's gonna be huge."

I nodded.

"Welp, I better get going. It was nice seeing you Johnny. Get better. We wouldn't want good 'ol Dally throwing a tantrum if you died. Only god knows what that crazy bastard would do." 

"I'll try my best." He then shoved the news paper into his back pocket and left.

He's pretty cool.

I was laying in the bed when I heard a familiar voice

"Hey, Johnnykid,"

I opened my eyes to see Ponyboy and Two-Bit. I tried to grin. "Hey, y'all."

The nurse, who was pulling the shades open, smiled and said, "So he can talk after all."

Two-Bit looked around. "They treatin' you okay, kid?"

"Don't..." ---I gasped--- "don't let me put enough grease on my hair."

"Don't talk," Two-Bit said, pulling up a chair, "just listen. We'll bring you some hair grease next time. We're havin' the big rumble tonight"

"It's too bad you and Dally can't be in it. It's the first big rumble we've had--- not countin' the time we whipped Shepard's outfit"

"He came by," I said. Remembering the same news that Tim Shepard told me a few hours ago.

"Tim Shepard?"

I nodded. "Came to see Dally."  

"Did you know you got your name in the paper for being a hero?"

I smiled and nodded. "Tuff enough." 

"You want anything besides hair grease, kid?"

"The book"---I looked at Pony hoping he would remember--- "can you get another one?"

Two-Bit looked at Pony confused. 

"He wants a copy of Gone with the Wind so I can read it to him," He explained. "You want to run down to the drugstore and get one?"

"Okay," Two-Bit said cheerfully. "Don't y'all run off."

Pony sat down in Two-Bit's chair and said. "Dally's gonna be okay. And Darry and me, we're okay now." I knew what he meant.

I closed my eyes relived to know that everyone was okay.

"Johnny!" Pony said, alarmed. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed. "Yeah, it just hurts sometimes. It usually don't... I can't feel anything below the middle of my back..."

I started to breath heavily. "I'm pretty bad off, ain't I, Pony?"

"You'll be okay. You gotta be. We couldn't get along without you."

"I won't be able to walk again," I started. "Not even on crutches. Busted my back."

"You'll be okay," He repeated firmly. 

I knew he wanted to cry, but he wouldn't let himself. I wanted to to, but I knew it would hurt.

"You want to know something, Ponyboy? I'm scared stiff. I used to talk about killing myself..." my breath quivered. "I don't want to die now. It ain't long enough. Sixteen years ain't long enough. I wouldn't mind it so much if there wasn't so much stuff I ain't done yet--- and so many things I ain't seen. It's not fair. You know what? That time we were in Windrixville was the only time I've been away from our neighborhood."

"You ain't gonna die," He spoke. "And don't get juiced up, because the doc won't let us see you no more if you do."

I was to young to die. Once again the universe has failed me, God has failed me, my parents have failed me, but most of all I have failed myself.

A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Johnny," she said quietly, "your mother's here to see you."

My eyes went widen in shock. Why was she here. Out of all the times she could have come and seen me, she comes when I am on my death bed.

"I don't want to see her," I said firmly.

"She's your mother."

"I said I don't want to see her." My voice was rising. "She's probably come to tell me about all the trouble I'm causing her and about how glad her and the old man'll be when I'm dead. Well, tell her to leave me alone. For once" ---my voice broke--- "for once just to leave me alone." I tried to sit up, but it made me gasp for air and everything went black again.