Dear (Name),
Fuck. This sucks. I hate letters. But I think I hate confrontation even more, so this is just gonna have to do.
I suck at poetic things. And I can already hear you saying "But Yoongi, you write most of our songs" and I'm laughing as I write that because it's true. But even then I feel like my words aren't good enough to describe you, or the way I feel about you. I wanna write a million songs about you, describing the way you make me feel. The way you piss me off and worry me and annoy me. The way, despite all of your obnoxiousness, I'm still always looking for you or seeing what you're doing. The way, subconsciously, I keep you in my head when I'm writing our songs.
I didn't understand why I was feeling this way. I tried saying it was because I was like a brother to you. I tried focusing more on other people's feelings. I just looked the other way. But recently I've come to a realization that makes the haze so fucking clear.
I'm in love with you. That's it. That's all it is. I realized that I was running around in circles like an idiot trying to avoid it but that's the truth. I've been in love with you for so long I can't even remember when it started. All I know is that I'm done pretending that I'm indifferent to you. I don't wanna lie and say I'm happy seeing you leave. Truth is, I'm selfish and I want you for myself. And I'll be happiest if you accept me.
Of course, I'm being dramatic. Even if you don't return my feelings, I'll treasure you forever. Because after all this time you've managed to worm your way into my existence to the point where I can't imagine you not being around. I don't say it often, but I'm DEPENDENT on you. I need you around because you give me stability. You're a source of happiness for me. So even if you don't feel the same, just being around you is a gift to me.
But again, my selfishness speaks. I would be a million times happier if you were just exclusively mine. If you told me you depended on me the way I do you. If you came to me when you needed to cry or if you wanted to interrupt my work to share something trivial you liked. I'd listen to it all for you, because there's nothing more important to me than you.
Ok this is long enough. I just ranted in this. I'm not even gonna reread it because I'm scared I'll chicken out and won't give it to you. But it's time you knew.
I love you, you annoying little punk. Come to me and tell me you feel the same.
Love,
Yoongi
YOU ARE READING
Love You So Bad
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