ennui | junshua

seven

jun opens his door, knowing what would happen would go wrong, seeing joshua on his doorstep just felt wrong. this whole thing just did not feel right. he didn't want this to happen. "we need to talk."

junhui just stayed quiet as he crosses his arms, just staring at the eye of the younger. joshua purses his lips as the rain starts falling in the background. the silence goes on for the next few seconds as joshua tries to break it. "so you're really gonna ignore me here?"

"well there's nothing else to talk about."

"yes there is!"

the air was tense, the cold air tried to attack them as the bright full moon smiles at them. the two boys didn't give a single fuck about anything. they just wanted to remove the tension between them. they say this part of the relationship is always hard, and they never thought they'd be in this certain stage.

all joshua wanted is to put back the broken pieces of the mirror, but he didn't want to do it alone. he wanted to ask junhui for help.

"why does it have to be now?!"

"because i wanna fucking fix us"

junhui was thrown off, he never saw this side of joshua and he never thought he'd see this side of joshua. he didn't want to deal with the burden today. he hated how the pressure had to face him today. all he wanted is to distract himself and focus on the good things.

junhui rolls his eyes, "look shua, we can have this conversation any other day. i have a job to do."

joshua was not having it. his impression of junhui is now workaholic. the boy just wanted to fix things which he didn't understand why jun found it so hard. he was irritated by the way jun was acting, "yeah, 'cause all you fucking do is work! you don't even have the fucking time for me." joshua cries.

"how many fucking times do i tell you that this is for our future, for us? joshua, please understand that this job is stressing me out, and you're adding up to it! you know if you weren't here right now, i'd be finishing what i have to do so i can spend time with you." and there it is, junhui used the whole name card, which the older hates a lot.

"i bet you finished work and just ignored me." joshua mutters, having a painful smile painted on his face as tears fell down his eyes. he couldn't help it anymore.

"well i'm fucking sorry but you can't fix a broken mirror."

joshua sighs, he can't take it anymore. he was heartbroken. he never knew his dream relationship could turn up to a mess. his tears fell down like it was a waterfall. he felt stupid for coming here in the first place.

"you know what joshua, if you keep acting like this, lets just end this." junhui says out loud. as if on cue, the thunder strikes leaving a flash on both of tbeir faces, joshua then stops walking then turns around, "junhui, do you even know what the fuck you're saying?"

"yes i do. and i want to do it." the chinese says monotonously, he looked like he didn't care about the relationship anymore.

he puts his hands up like he surrenders as he walks back to his apartment and slams the door behind his back, not even gonna bother about the neighbours complaining for the nth time about jun slamming his doors.

joshua just stood there, being lost, confused. he wasn't able to process what the actual hell just happend.

he was just standing in the middle of the hallway, trying to process what just happen. he bit his bottom lip, he didn't want to break down in the middle corridor. he sucked everything up and entered fhe elevator.

he wanted his feeling sealed tight as possible, like a sink, the water are his emotions. he closes the tab as tight as possible, acting like nothing has happened. he made sure he didn't leak any water, he's sure that the tab is fully closed so that no one but him can open it.

but the days he was with junhui.

other than joshua himself, jun was the only one who knew to open the tap. it's how joshua learned how to open up. which made his darkest days into days that are now just in the past.

"it's okay, this will be the past. just not now" he repeated in his mind, wiping all his tears and fixing his hair. he took a deep breath and pushed all the burden away.

nothing can bother him anymore.

the elevator door opens as he finds his car and steps in it, calmly. he holds the stirring wheel and takes a deep sigh, "i'm going to grow up. please, wait for me" he then turns his headlights and drives off. he's finally driving away from the painful memories.

he's finally driving away from his first love, wen junhui.

the end.