ennui | junshua

four

"just help me choose! blue or red?"

it was the day of his date with junhui, and the morning was already a bit stressful. the boy didn't know what to do but panic. he was scared, he felt like he forgot how to impress the younger, it came to a point that he had to invite his friend, yoon jeonghan to his house to figure out what to wear in todays date.

"blue," jeonghan says, "that color has always suit you" he complimented just so the boy can feel at ease. 

joshua was shaking, dear lord, what should he do? he was acting like a high schooler who has been asked out to prom, he acted like this date is his first date with junhui.

but it's been so long since junhui has asked him out, he couldn't help himself but want this to be a perfect one even if he was taken out by junhui numerous times.

"so blue jacket, jeans and rubber shoes?" joshua looked up at jeonghan, asking him with his eyes if the pair was a match, "look, joshua, this is your date, not mine" he reminded the younger who was sweating already, "so it's your decision" 

"but this is why i invited you.."

all jeonghan can do is laugh and pat the boys back, "but i'm only here for emotional support." to which made joshua sigh and roll his eyes. he didn't think it'd be this way. he thought the start would go the way he wanted it to be. he felt a soft lump on his throat. but he didn't let it out. just why did this anxiety and stress have to be today? why couldn't it be tomorrow? or the day after tomorrow?

"i'm sorry, i'm just nervous, i mean, i know i'm not supposed to be acting like this but, it's just been so long.. two weeks jeonghan, two weeks, it sounds short but it felt like a decade.. i just miss him so much.."

jeonghan felt the sadness of the younger, he sat beside him and gave him a hug, trying his very best to comfort his friend. 

"you'll do great today, i know it"

on the other hand, junhui was having a mental breakdown, well, more than a mental break down at this point. the boy didn't know what to do. he felt the urge to wear a suit and a tie, but who wears that on dates to the park? he just liked the idea of him wearing the black jacket, and trousers of identical textiles worn with a collared dress shirt, necktie, and dress shoes. 

"a suit? seriously junhui?" his friend, minghao over a video call said with a hint of judgment in his voice. the older let out a sigh, he knew he'd look stupid, wearing a tie on a date to a park. "what are you? the guy from monopoly?" minghao scoffed. jun rolled his eyes, and looked at minghao at the eye, trying to get his shit together. him panicking was already a bad sign.

junhui let out a silent scream, stomping his feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum, jesus fuck, it's just clothes! who has a mental breakdown other clothes?

"look, i get you wanna look good on this date, but it's just clothes! just wear a simple jacket and some blue jeans and wear your so called 'lucky boy shoes' and you're good to go"

jun pointed to the camera, "this is why i called you." he says, "for you to help me, thank you, minghao"

"are you saying i wasn't helpi—"

"good bye" he presses the end call button.

he takes out the recommended clothes minghao suggested him to wear, hoping it'd suit him and appropriate for todays date.

.
panicking.

a word that could describe joshua as we speak. the boy knew it was just a simple date at the park, nothing bad would happen. but walking there just makes him sweaty already, his legs won't stop shaking, he was sweating none stop, it felt like he was going into a room with hades in it as he saves his mom.

he shakes his head, 'stop acting like nico di angelo will appear out of no where' he scolds himself, he was just scared he'd fuck things up.

'fuck what if he wants to break up with me?'
'nah, he wouldn't do that.'
'shit.. will he?'

he just keeps walking, trying to clear his mind, he wanted to stop the over thinking. god, why can't he just think normally? why can't he just be positive this whole date? why can't he just stop being negative for fucks sake?

"shua?"

oh god, there's his voice. 

the voice that would always calm him down.

the voice that would always make him happy.

the voice that would make him feel safe.

the voice that would make him feel the warmth, joy and love from the younger.

joshua turns back, looking at the younger, giving him a big hug. "are you crying?" junhui giggled, hugging back the younger, "shut up. i miss you, even though it's only been two weeks" the older says, muffling his words.

jun let go of the hug, cupping the olders face as he wipes his tears with his thumb. "i missed you" shua mutters. the chinese smiles softly, looking at the korean.

"i missed you too, my love."

// authors note
gl next chap loves <3