Complicated

#18

The next week and a half flew by..and by time I knew it? It's my audition day.

Never in my life did I ever think I'd be going to audition for my dream job at such a young age. I'm practically fresh out of college and I've already made it to where I am.

Of course I can't take completely credit, I wouldn't of made it here yet if it wasn't for Harry. If I get in, I owe him my career. If I don't? I'm probably gonna have a fat mental breakdown and tell him about how much I've failed.

Over the week and just a little more, a ton of shit has happened.

•Harry and Niall didn't talk to each-other for a week, Niall tried apologising but Harry didn't want to know. Their okay now but there's still some sort of tension in the air.

•Niall missed a show to go to court with Nancy about the restraining order, she got off with a warning, but now she's living at home with her parents again, and apparently their pissed that she skipped town for a while and didn't say anything. When they were all caught up? They were upset, but they were happy for her and Niall's relationship status.

•Zayn and Louis had a fall out, they wont talk and because of this there's rumours online that Zayn wants to leave.

•Liam and Harry got into a little fight, Harry threw him up a wall and Liam made an empty threat.

•The band hate each-other at the moment for 'reasons I wouldn't understand'. I sure can't wait to hear all the fights they have about song writing.

•The bands working on a new album already...they seem to work hard.

•The music video came out. In the opening scene it was classical and all the band looked old fashioned having drinks with each-other. Then when I showed up dancing with the pole, and the whole vibes of the classical music changed. My name was displayed on the screen. I gained a public image.

•My name is officially in the media and there's speculation that I'm Harry's mystery girl, little do they know..

•Harry and I are going strong. Still in a situation-ship, but it's a pretty good one and I'm enjoying it. I wish we made it official though..

•Nancy tried reaching out. She apologised frantically after the court hearing. I answered the phone after the fourteenth call. She told me she was sorry and she would like to see me to apologise for it, but I know all she wants is to wriggle her way back in the band to be with Niall.

Now your all caught up on the latest drama. I have no idea what the future of the band is. I have no idea what my future with Harry is, but I stand strong with my future with Nancy. I want to move on. I cant have a person like that in my life? Right?

At this current moment I am on the tour bus, on the way to a well secured hotel (for once). We're on the way to New York. So close to home, yet so far.

Harry's sat besides me, with his arm around me, leaning into my shoulder sleeping. The rest of the boys are still in their pods. Their all avoiding each other. Which is great for us as we practically get the huge U-shaped lounge to ourselves. The only time someone will leave is to go to the bathroom or to charge their phone on the desk in here.

I'm nervous for the audition, yet excited? What if they tell me I'm not what their looking for? What if they said I'm perfect for it? What if they say I've not got the right body type? What if they say I'm perfect in every way shape and form? God. Im so anxious.

Speaking of it all, we are two minutes away from the hotel. Harry said he would walk me down to the audition place. It's probably in my best interest to wake him up so that he's not too tired to do it. I've never been to New York, and he just told me I had an audition. He never told me where it was. Unless he's lying..I doubt that though.