Complicated

#11

(In this part whenever something is written in bold like this, it's Harry's pov)
//

I walk into the sitting room. Clearly wound up and emotional. Everyone's eyes fall onto me, then instantly look away, except one pair. Nancys. She looks at me and shakes her head, she looks angry and disappointed at the same time.

She pats the spot next to her, beckoning me to sit. I sit next to her and lean my head onto her shoulder. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me, comforting me.

"We heard everything" she says. For fuck sakes. My day couldn't get any worse. "We're on your side and we know how you feel and please don't get worked up about it".

I say nothing in response and just stare off out the window opposite me.

All of a sudden Harry comes walking into the sitting area. The room stays silent. Unluckily for me, he sits directly across from me, not only does this take away the outside view from me, it also takes away any peace of mind I had. As now the only place I can really look is the floor because there's someone sat in ever spot I look.

I look at the floor, I have no idea how to feel. I don't know if should be heartbroken, angry, disappointed, all of the above or none of the above.

I look at her staring down at the floor. I know I've hurt her and it kills me. I don't know if I should apologise but I've already told her the reason I said what I said.

I look up and catch him staring at me, with no emotion in his eyes, he's probably thinking about how much he wants to leave me at the next destination and burn my life to the ground.

She catches me staring at her in pity and awe, she's probably thinking of how much of a weirdo I am and how all she wants to do is ruin my life for what I did to her.

All I want to do right now is make things right. I want a reasonable explanation as to why he had to hurt me like that, as to why he can't just be honest with me. I don't understand, he told me in the hotel room that he wants to be with me, yet now? He just wants a platonic relationship.

All I can think about is making things right, but I've already told her my reasons, she just wouldn't understand them even if it was clearly written on a piece of paper. I wish I didn't say we were just friends. After all, Nancys bound to know everything as their best friends. I just want to hold her in my arms and call her mine.

I cant believe I fell for him. I cant believe I thought I even had a chance with him. I'm beyond stupid for that. As if a huge superstar would ever love a poor, broken lowlife like me?. I got my hopes up and thought of a future with a man who doesn't feel the same way about me.

I cant believe I fell for her. How could a beautiful, kind perfect soul ever love such an idiot like me? I cant believe I fucked up my only chance to have a real shot at love, all to protect myself from my inner circle.

I'm so stupid.

I'm so stupid.

Even still all I want is him.

Even still all I want is her.

He's hurt me beyond belief. Yet all I want is him. All I think about is him. All I dream about is him. All I've ever wanted is someone like him.

I've hurt her beyond belief. Yet all I want is her. All I think about is her. All I dream about is him. All I've ever wanted is someone like her.

I love him so much and he knows it.

I love her more than all the starts in the sky and she has no idea. I don't think she'll ever know, but one day when the trust boundaries aren't so high. She'll be mine and I can tell her all about it everyday.

//
Sorry this one's a little short. I wanted to portray the contrast in their thoughts.