Complicated

#43

Annabelle's pov

We sit in silence for a while at his island in his house. I don't know what to say. I wanted to speak privately but am I ready to really discuss how I've been feeling?

I feel like I can't talk to him the way I want to or he just won't listen.

"You okay?" He asks softly.

I look at him again, and almost everything from two years ago comes flooding back. The feeling of being lost without him. The feeling of needing him. The feeling of loving his soul. The feeling of unconditional love for him. I cant wrap my head around it and I hate it.

I guess after all I see why he can't get over Julia.

"I miss you so much.." I whisper.

He sits in silence just staring at me through furrowed brows.

"I thought I was over you. I thought if I ever saw you again and spoke to you that I wouldn't feel a thing..truth is though Harry, the second we came close to each other, the second you looked at me, the second you spoke to me..everything came back like I had been shot by cupids arrow. Seeing you and speaking to you made me realise that the time I spent healing was all for nothing. Dating Dom was just a distraction from you. I'm not over you and I never have been" I slouch, letting all my feelings out.

He sits still again, keeping silent, with the same look from before I gave a dramatic monologue.

He takes a deep breath in and out.

"I cant say I've moved on from you either. When I said it'll always be Julia, I think I was just lying to myself because I was scared to commit, and have the same thing happen, as usually history repeats itself, but when I did leave. I instantly started looking for people to sleep with to distract myself from that pain that I felt..the same way I was when Julia left. When I met Madelyn she kind of stuck by hoping for something but I didn't want her that way, I wanted you. Sleeping with her was a distraction. I imagined she was you sometimes. It helped me feel sane until when it was done I looked at her and it wasn't you, then everything just hit again, like I was coming down from a high." He says.

I feel like there was more he wanted to say so I stayed quiet the way he did to me hoping he'd say more.

"Going to Doms show wasn't just to see the kids or to monitor him, it was because I was at breaking point and I just had to see you. Sure enough I did, and seeing you stand there admiring him and the kids and the crowd was such a pain in my chest, I only imagined what it would be like for you to look at me that way when I'm performing to a stadium full of people. When you realised I was there in the photo, I instantly ran back stage because I knew that you'd go back to confront me. I only did it because I just needed to speak to you, hear your voice, see you, smell you, etc...and I did get all of that. Except you stank of beer and horrible smells because of Dom." He explains with a little laugh at the end.

I've noticed that he definitely does not like Dom. Shame because Dom is quite fond of him as an artist and a person from an outside perspective. Obviously he's never met him properly or seen him the way I have, but I know he does feel inspired by him.

I stay silent just admiring him from the other side of the island.

"Do you think about me?" I ask.

"All the fucking time. Do you think of me?" He returns the question.

"All the time" I let out a little laugh. "Would you ever go back to the relationship?"

"In a heartbeat." He says with a serious expression on his face.