𝖧𝖾'𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖾<3 𝖪𝗂𝗍 𝖢𝗈𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗋 𝗑 ᶠᵉᵐ! ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

part 13

tw: insomnia // pills
KIT POV

I just left for Paris, and I couldn't stop thinking about
Y/N and our conversation. Ally noticed, so she sat with me, so did Nilly. "I know it's hard, what you guys are going through. You'll get through it. After all, It's just
Y/N, and there are many other girls here in France." Ally said that, I saw Nilly look at her like, 'you really said that about y/n?'. I was surprised that she said that, because they're best friends.

I bet that the whole plane ride, I'll be thinking and dreaming of Y/N. I love her so much, I just wish I could take her. She doesn't like planes though. I shouldn't of broken up with her. We'll be here for a few months, and what if she finds someone new? What if Ally's right... and I find someone new? I don't think Y/N'll be able to handle that kind of heartbreak.

Y/N POV

When I heard that Kit left for Paris, I did cry for a little. I was at the gym, so I let all of my anger, sadness, and even happiness out. By the time I was done at the gym, I couldn't really feel anything. There was this numbness in my heart, where there used to be so much emotion, and it's all gone. When I got home, I changed into more comfortable clothes and just laid in bed.

I couldn't sleep, so many thoughts going through my head right now and I can't stop them. I can't save myself from myself. Things went from going great, to going bad in the blink of an eye. I felt like I was getting better, for the first time in years. I was happy, I had a great relationship. Now, I'm not. I can't even force a smile on my face anymore, I'm only 18. I can't go out and get drunk like my mom.

I can't go out, and take my mind off of everything, because I'll just keep thinking. I don't think I'll be dating anytime soon. I'm keeping that promise. I've made many promises to myself, even when things are bad, you can't give up. But it's getting hard, and I don't feel like trying. I'm already getting ready to give up now. I don't have my friends, my boyfriend, not even my parents.

Things are hard. Things may get harder. But no matter what happens, I need to stay optimistic. I cannot let Kit take everything away from me only a few months after he gave everything to me. I love Kit with all my heart. But he doesn't feel the same way. I'll move on, hopefully find someone better. I don't think there is anyone better than Kit. It's worth a try, isn't it?

I know that things get worse before they get better, and that's normal. But I'm never goimg to let it get back to the point where I'm trying to off myself. But I can...

As I was walking home, I got lost in my train of thought. I forgot all about the promises, the deals, the lies. I walked into my apartment, the same one where I almost offed myself and saw a small stain of red. I guess they didn't fully get it off of the carpet. I reached into the secret compartment of the cabinet is see if thw bottle was still there. To my surprise, it was.

I gulped quietly and opened the bottle. My old sleeping pills. I didn't need them anymore, but I'm keeping them, just in case I need them, for a time like this. I take 2 at a time, normally. I wasn't thinking straight. Everythings a blur, and the next thing I see is the floor.

I swear, there will be happy chapters on the way. :)