Destined

Torture

Taehyung's PoV

As soon as the concert started today, I knew I was done for. Even after years and years of practice, restraint, and holding myself back, on stage, in front of the camera, near my hyungs, and in front of the whole world, today my heart was bursting. Today, Kim Taehyung has just lost control.

And honestly, there was no reason to. It wasn't like something out of the ordinary had happened. I had overcome so many tempting moments before, stopping myself right before I did the unthinkable. There had been so many instances when I had taken twenty steps forward, and stopped just before I crossed the line, to retreat quietly to my limits, to stay in my boundaries.

No one made it easy for me. Least of all the object of my affection. In fact, just the opposite, I reflected. Jungkook just kept getting prettier, building his body into a fine shape, singing better and better, and giving me all the attention that kept me wishfully thinking that the boy would return my feelings, should I ever have the courage to confess.

I spent a lot of my free time watching Taekook videos on YouTube. I knew Jungkook watched me when I was not paying attention. But that didn't mean anything till feelings were out in the open. And truth be told, my heart is too fragile to muster up the courage to confess. What if I was rejected? Judged? What if my hyungs were disgusted with me? And worst, what if Jungkook discarded me from his life? I would die. Well, not die. But I would certainly be heartbroken, shattered. Why take the chance?

But today, that same scaredy-cat heart was feeling too brave for my liking. I didn't know why. It just wanted me to give Jungkook one indication that he was special. Maybe it was because the maknae was singing especially well today... or maybe because the Love Yourself album made me feel I should accept myself and my feelings too... or probably just because I am tired of wanting to be loved back. Did I just say love? Shit.

Nonetheless, I tried. Kept distance. But whoever knows BTS knows Taehyung can't do a concert without hovering near Jungkook atleast once or twice. If I avoid him on stage today, #taekook would be trending all over Twitter tomorrow. Correction, during the concert itself. I'm being tortured by my mind and heart today. I'm gonna cry.

Okay I still tried. Very hard. But then Jimin dragged me to Jungkook. And suddenly, I could see nothing else but Jungkook's nape. I strangely kept singing, but the concert and members and army, all faded into oblivion. I could only hear Jungkook's melodious voice. And I could only see his nape. And don't ask me how it was possible, because I really don't know. Okay? Okay.

I am very confused. I am also awestruck. I feel like I can't breathe. And then, as if to just save myself from the agony, my body acted on its own accord, and I moved forward till there was no space between me and Jungkook.

And I kissed Jungkook's nape.