Destined

Hold Me Now

Taehyung's PoV

Life's been a whirlwind these past two months. Whew.

Ever since I, ahem, kissed Kookie's nape during that Citi Field concert, my life has completely changed. I've gone straight from spending most (all) of time pining over him to literally being doted upon twenty-four-seven. I am not complaining.

I really didn't know this year could turn out this way, when in February, we started talking about disbanding. The pressure had gotten to us. All of us. Living in the public eye all of the time takes its toll on your head, heart, and body. No matter how much we love making music, our army, our group, it wore us out. To the point that we almost broke. All seven of us.

But again, it was the love that kept us together. Wanting to keep going, giving it another try. Because we realised we were not ready to part ways. The seven of us have grown up with each other, spending our youth to build what we have today. As Yoongi hyung keeps saying, we are so different, it was only destiny that could have brought us together. Meeting six other people who can work towards a common goal like you, despite all the differences in their characters is a once in a lifetime occurrence. We really wanted to give it another chance. And I am so glad we did.

I don't know what I would have done without them. Without Namjoon hyung's guidance, Jin hyung's shelter, Yoongi hyung's quiet strength, Hoseok hyung's grit, and Jiminah's friendship, I think I would have faded away.

Without Jeon Jungkook, I wouldn't have existed.

I would be living, sure. I would be in touch with all of them, absolutely. But Kim Taehyung would not really be Kim Taehyung.

So I am glad. I am very very glad.

That is why I broke down so badly at the MAMA's. It's very unlike me to break down like that. You won't see me cry publicly so often. I just can't. I am not as strong as Kookie to show my vulnerability to everyone. I hide. I hide behind sass, horrible humour, and a fake confidence till I feel I can show my real face.

So that was hard. Hearing Jin hyung talking about disbandment. All those sleepless nights came back in a flash. All those nights where I worried about the future. Where I worried I wouldn't see Kook everyday. That I would lose him. My first love.

Did he sense it?

When he pulled me into his arms, I felt safe. I felt I was home. That I could cry, break down completely, and he would build me back up again, with care, with love. That I would not be judged. So I just couldn't stop.

And now I am sitting on my bed, exhausted, at the end of that long, tiring day, after all the celebrations, and the group hugs, and the promises to ourselves to keep doing better for our army, while Kookie sleeps beside me, his hand around my waist, his face tucked into my side.

How lucky am I?

I feel Kookie stir.

"Why're you up?"

Before I can even open my mouth to reply, he's on full alert.

"What happened baby? Are you upset? Why aren't you sleeping? Are you crying? Look at me, look at me"

"Hey, hey... Kook, baby, I'm okay. See, no tears"

"You scared me"

"Go back to sleep... am absolutely okay. You're here with me, how can I not be?"

"Listen I've held you for hours today till you could stop crying. Don't ask me why I am worried. I have never seen you cry like this, like this in front of everyone."

"I know baby. I know you were feeling bad. But I am okay now. It's just, you know, everything just came back to me at that moment and I couldn't help it"

"I know... it's okay. I'm glad you could let it out. But I am worried. Because you hold so much in"

"Don't worry so much about me... let's sleep. Come, cuddle me. Cuddle with me Jeon Jungkook...bestest boyfriend in the whole world!"

He loves it when I nag him. He makes an annoyed face, but he loves it.

"I can't not worry about my only boyfriend"

"One and only"

"Yep. Never gonna be another"

"Not a chance"

"I love you"

"I love you more"

"Now who's competing?"

"Kiss me already! You talk too much"

"Come here you. Let me kiss you senseless tonight"

Gotta go. I have important work to do.