The Empress's Revenge

Chapter 15

My head was my burden. I had burst a blood vessel which gave a pounding headache and overwhelmed my own body, causing me to faint.
"It's the stress." My doctor said, wringing his hands.
I also had a high fever.
I was given instructions for bedrest for 2 weeks, but my wedding was tomorrow and I was not going to miss it.
But, Harlow was stubborn.
"I refuse to risk your health for something such as a wedding." He seethed, mad at himself.
But I had to go on.
No one was going to wait around for me to get back on my feet, so overnight, I got ready for the wedding.
My ladies-in-waiting had me try my dress on and it was stunning.
I was excited.
But, I was still mad.
Why was Fedyor acting so cold and what wasn't Harlow telling me?
My head throbbed thinking about it.
As the sun came up on the day of the wedding, I started to get ready, and Harlow knew but didn't try and stop me. He wanted this more than I did.
"Ren?"
My husband poked his head into my bedchambers at the first dawn. It didn't disturb me, for I was already reading, too excited to sleep, but I wouldn't let it on.
"Yes?"
Harlow came in wearing a white button up and normal black pants. He wasnt ready yet either.
He came in and nervously sat on the end of my bed, avoiding my gaze.
Silence filled the room.
"You asked me about the Northern Ambassador."
I bookmarked my page and closed it.
"I did." I recalled, pushing down the fury that started to bubble up again.
Harlow sighed and glanced at the spot beside me in my bed and I smiled a little.
He was still a man who needed love.
I shifted and Harlow's face brightened. He grinned as he laid down beside me and I tousled his hair. It felt silky and smooth.
"Answers?" I reminded him softly.
I felt Harlow sigh.
"Me and the Northern Ambassador have gotten closer over due time and I've learnt alot."
Harlow and Fedyor?
Interesting.
I twirled a strand of black hair between my fingers.
"And?"
Harlow was silent.
"The Northern Ambassador has a month left to live."
I felt my blood run cold and my heart stop beating.
Fedyor was dying?
Impossible.
But was it?
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
I wouldn't allow this to happen. I could find medics and doctors to help him!
He can't just give up!
I felt sick to my stomach, as if I was going to throw up.
My Fedyor.
Why wouldn't he tell me?!
"My love?"
Harlow was over top of me, shaking my shoulder lightly.
"I'm sorry, darling." He breathed.
I pushed him away and got up.
"Ring for my ladies please."
Harlow nodded sadly and stood up to leave.
...
My dress was being fitted as the time until the wedding ceremony drew closer. My makeup was done and my hair was curled softly. I wore my crown and jewellery and soon, my dress was on and it was time.
I strode through the castle to the doors just outside the palace chruch and waited.
A mirror was in the hall, so I took a peek at myself and gasped silently.
I looked like a goddess.
My big white dress looked like snow with golden threads to make it shine when I turned. There were no straps on my shoulders, and I filled the dress perfectly. My lips were red and my cheeks were flushed perfectly. My gilden hair was curled and it spilled past my back, with silver threads making it shine.
Was that me?
The strong looking woman?
I smiled and watched as my reflection smiled back, beautifully.
But, I couldn't admire myself all day.
Soon, Fedyor came running up to me.
"Congratulations, my lady. You look stunning" He said, shooting me a grin with a slight blush.
I said nothing.
I thought we were friends, but he couldn't even tell me he was dying.
Fedyor held out his wrinkled sleeve and I stared at it.
"I think I can give myself away, actually." I said coldly, turning away and taking my bouquet from a servant.
Fedyor said nothing, but continued to stand there. I snuck a glance through my hair and he looked furious. His fists were balled up and his jaw was clenched.
After a moment, he strode down the hall, leaving me alone.
I took a deep breath. I kept losing everyone. Why did I have to become so attatched to Fedyor? Now, all I had was my ladies-in-waiting, Duke and Duchess Abaster and my husband, Harlow.
My stomach flopped at the word Husband.
This was really happening.
At that moment, the music to signal me to start my procession began, and I took a deep breath as the doors opened.
Everyone stared at me, some grinning, some scowling but I didn't mind.
My eyes were fixed on Harlow.
He stood, hands infront of his body, beaming at me, blushing slightly. His green eyes sparkled with joy and his raven hair was slicked back, leaving a single strand infront of his face. His white suit was perfect and the military medals sparkled, having been shined the day before.
As I stepped up to the alter, Harlow took my hands and leaned forward.
"You look stunning." He whispered.
I smiled in response, feeling my stomach churn in nervousness.
Our priest recited his speech and then we said our vows.
"Harlow Octavius, do you take Renata Hesoli to be your lawfully wedded wife, therefore claiming the Hesoli title as well as the title of Emperor?"
Harlow looked me in my eyes.
"I do."
The preist turned to me.
"Renata Hesoli, do you take Harlow Ocavius to be your lawfully wedded husband, therefore promoting his status to Emperor?"
I stared deep into Harlows emerald eyes.
"I do."
...
The celebration lasted all night, leaving my feet sore with blisters.
After the ceremony, me and Harlow lead the way to the ballroom and I feigned awe at the flowers and gems.
We led a waltz then other people came out and followed our lead.
"I'm so glad you're mine." Harlow whispered in my ear as I leaned into his embrace as we danced.
I smiled to myself. Indeed, I was Harlow's.
And no one else's.
After the song ended, I made my way to the throne and watched the celebration continue. Harlow was chatting to the Southern Ambassador and laughing.
But something caught my eye.
I turned quickly to see a white pelt slip out the door and I felt my heart drop.
Fedyor.
I needed to talk to him.
Of course I was mad, but maybe talking would salvage something we had.
So, I quickly got up, trying not to catch anyone's attention and I slipped out the door behind the dais.
My shoes were the only sound that filled the silence as I hurried down the hall to try and rescue a relationship.
My skirt was weighing me down as I strode through the corridor and I longed to tear it off.
Finally, I found what I was looking for.
Fedyor was out in the graden, staring up at the stars in his back, his shirt and pelt at the base if my tree.
Our tree.
I shook off the thought and walked out to him. His bright blue eyes flickered over to me and he sighed and closed his eyes.
"Not tonight, your majesty."
I stopped for a minute.
Not tonight?
Hah.
I simply sat down beside Fedyor, my dress fanning out around me as I gazed into the comsos like the Northern Ambassador.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.
There was a long pause.
"There was nothing to say. Fear silenced me."
I propped myself up on my elbows and stared into Fedyor's eyes.
"Fear of what?" I breathed, searching his face for some emotion.
Fedyor looked at the sky as a rumble of thunder sounded from some black clouds a few miles away.
"Fear of this."
I was confused.
"Fear of our friendship evaporating?"
He nodded and I understood that he had my same fears.
"Oh."
Suddenly, Fedyor covered his face with a muscular arm and laughed.
"Silly, isn't it?"
It hurt me to see him this way.
I put a yand on his arm and pulled it away from his face as I looked into his eyes that were simmering with unreleased tears.
"Fear isn't silly, Fedyor. Fear is something that will control us unless we control it. Never be afraid to let your fears be known. That makes them less powerful."
I saw him smile and nod briefly as a tear slid from his left eye. I brushed it away as I felt raindrops hit my back.
Fedyor squeezed his eyes shut then cupped my hand that was on his face quickly, not letting any time for me to pull away.
"Fedyor?"
He opened his eyes and sat up, towering over me, even in a seating position. A wild look was shining in his eyes as raindrops started to splatter his face.
"Renata, I have loved you since I met you. You're strong, beautiful, smart and courageous. You give wonderful advice and you always know what to do."
I was speechless as my old friend growled these words in his hard Northern accent.
"I know we can never be together, but I just needed you to know."
He stood quickly, leaving me in a daze at his feet.
Fedyor looked around quickly as the rain started to come down harder and crouched down to my level, so he was eye to eye with me, then he pressed his Northern lips onto mine and ran a hand through my hair briefly, before standing and shooting off like a lightning bolt.
Fedyor.
Was he dying?
Or trying to escape?
He was in love with me?
But...
How?
Why?
I sat in the pouring rain in a daze as lightning and thunder played across the sky.
Fedyor loved me?
The lightning flashed behind my tree, causing the leaves the disspear and it made the tree appear skeletal, with the branches as bones, reaching for the sky, wishing to be free.
But it wasn't.
And neither was I.
As long as I lived, worries, problems and chaos would ensue my name.
The rain continued to pour, drenching my dress and flattening my hair and washing away my makeup.
I felt the rain drip off the end of my nose in a steady stream, but I didn't mind. It felt nice.
The thunder roared around me and the lighting followed in a cackling crack. I watched the rain come down and the night get darker, but I stayed sitting in my new puddle on the ground.
Fedyor loved me?