Adoration

v

Narnia 2325

Aslan's words replayed in Susan's head but, lucky for her, she would not have to wait long before the truth revealed itself.

Narnia seemed very different from the mere week before when she was teaching Rilian how to use a bow and arrow. The grass had dulled to a sandy brown colour; the sky had been overtaken by grey clouds; the sun was replaced with storms and rain. It was as though nature was turning on itself, turning on the Narnians. And everyone knew the reason why, though no one admitted it to themselves.

Susan was sitting in her sleeping chambers when she realised that the news was about to be revealed, and she was full of dread.

"Susan," Lucy spoke, barging into the room without knocking (something she had done many times before). "It's Aslan; he's here. I should've known he would come and save us." When Susan remained in her place, Lucy groaned loudly. "Susan, come on."

Susan allowed her sister to pull her from the bed, down the hallway, and into Caspian's office – where everyone was gathered. Aslan was stood at the centre and, when he caught Susan's eye, he nodded solemnly.

"Okay, Susan's here. Can you explain everything now?" Peter questioned Aslan.

"Alright, my child." Aslan begun, looking around at everyone in the room. Edmund, Caspian, Lilliandil, Digory, Polly, Peter, Eustace, Lucy: they all stared at him, awaiting the answers to unfold.

Aslan sighed a final time before truly beginning. "When I was first created, I was blessed by the stars with a vision, a prophecy if you will. It detailed something that I have held from you all for a long time, partially because I could not bring myself to face the prophecy. But, because of recent events, I believe that the truth must finally be discussed."

They all stared, confused but none daring to utter a word or to interrupt the great lion.

"Over a week ago, I indulged Susan in the prophecy." All eyes transferred to her then. "Though I asked her to keep the information to herself, knowing that none of you were ready to hear it."

Susan, despite keeping her eyes glued to the floor, could feel Caspian's glare. They were back to where they started, she knew.

"The prophecy spoke of four children, my beloved children." He gestured to the Pevensies. "It stated that one day you would enter Narnia and when you did so..." he paused, breathing deeply. "...when you did so, Narnia would be no more."

Lucy stepped back, bumping into an equally stunned Peter. Edmund stared between his siblings before his eyes landed on Aslan, "so why did you allow us to keep returning if we were the ones killing Narnia?" Lucy released a sob at the words, burying her face against her older brother's shoulder.

Susan had not realised that she had sunken to the floor, her cheek resting on her knees, which were bent against her chest. Eustace placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing lightly.

"It was written in the stars. You would have arrived whether I allowed you to or not. And after the first time you arrived, I had formed an attachment to you all and I saw you all as my children. I had to allow you to return...it would have broken my heart not to. And every time you returned, you edged yourselves further into my heart and, after a while, Narnia was no longer my main priority." His voice broke, which seemed to shatter the already fragile room.

Tears streamed down Peter and Edmund's faces; Lucy kept her face pressed against her brother; Polly and Digory were holding one another; Eustace was holding his cousin, withholding tears. Even Lilliandil had begun stifling cries.

Susan, on the other hand, was defeated. She was suddenly drowned in regret for wishing away her time in Narnia, angry at herself for ever wanting to forget this place. She wished she had allowed herself to be a child here, instead of stepping into the role of "mother" for her siblings. She was a Narnian despite whatever she had tried to convince herself previously; she was High Queen Susan the Gentle. She knew that a part of her would die with Narnia, that part being her soul.

And Caspian must've felt the urge to twist the knife a little more. She didn't blame him, not one bit. "So, you knew about it, Susan?" She met his eyes. "Didn't think it was important enough to discuss with anyone?"

"Caspian." Lilliandil scolded.

"Please tell me you didn't know all of that." Peter whispered, the lion's words seeming to have caught up to him.

Eustace removed his hand from her shoulder, and Susan was the one sobbing now. The dam had been broken; the water was freefalling.

The door to the office slammed. Susan didn't care who it was because it opened seconds later. When she opened her eyes, she realised only Aslan and Lilliandil were left in the room with her.

The lion made his way over, nestling his head against her. "I will talk to them, my child." She couldn't help but grab onto him, crying into his fur. She felt as though she was twelve again, clinging onto his lifeless body on the Stone Table.

He, too, left soon after.

"Caspian had no right to bring that up." Lilliandil spoke quietly after a moment of silence.

Susan wiped her face. "No, he has every right to be mad."

She shook her head, staying silent for a moment. "You're not entitled to tell him anything, no matter how guilty you felt for leaving him."

Susan looked up, staring wide-eyed at Lilliandil. "It's not –"

"I can see that you're in love with each other, Susan, I'm not blind. But...I don't mind." She made her way over, helping her up and wiping her eyes. "I think you should go and talk to your siblings, then we should hold a feast. For the whole of Narnia."

Susan sniffled, nodding.

* * *

She found her siblings outside the castle, sat in silence. They all turned when she was behind them.

"I'm sorry." Susan apologised, remaining stood.

"You should have told us." Peter spoke quietly.

Nodding, she waited for one of them to begin yelling, preparing herself for it. "I know."

Edmund offered his hand, gently pulling her down to sit and placing his arm over her shoulder. 

"I just can't believe it." Lucy muttered.

They all stayed quiet, focusing their attention on the forest in the distance and the towns below. 

Their home.