Adoration

xiii

Narnia 2307 - England 1942

"Susan. Caspian." The lion spoke. "You two may have a moment."

Caspian nodded and followed Susan further along the beach, away from the group. Once they reached an appropriate distance, where they knew their conversation would not be overheard, they paused and faced one another.

He looked at her, noticing how she refused to meet his eyes, and felt tears prickling at the back of his. He released a weak breath, "so what happens now?"

Susan finally met his eyes, her own glazed over. "We can't be together across worlds, Caspian; life isn't that fair."

"Of course it isn't fair: it's taking you away from me." His shoulders stuttered with every breath he took. "Again."

She looked towards the horizon, not wishing to see him this close to tears. "I wish more than anyone that things could be different. That we could make this work." Her eyes remained on the horizon as she felt her throat tighten and her stomach plummet.

"I could go with you," he spoke in an almost pained whisper. "We could get married, start a family and grow old together." Caspian had gripped her hands in his, bringing her eyes back to his.

She shook her head, tensing as she felt tears form in her ducts. "I want nothing more than to have that...but I know you'll regret it. Whether that be in a few years, months, possibly even days. And I know that you'll resent me for allowing you to come back to my world with me, and I don't think I could live with you hating me."

He opened his mouth to speak but she began again, stopping him. "I want you to go back to Ramandu's Island –" he frowned at this.

"- And I want you to marry Lilliandil."

Caspian stood in a state of shock, his lips slightly parted. "What?" his voice was only just audible and cracked throughout.

She offered him a smile, embracing the second tear that trickled down her cheek. "I saw how you looked at her and I truly believe that she could make you happy. I've been told you look at me a similar way, and I'd like to hold onto the idea that I still cause butterflies to form in your stomach and your heart to skip."

"I want to marry you, not Lilliandil." The boy insisted, pulling her towards him and resting his forehead against hers. The couple closed their eyes, not wishing to pull themselves from one another.

"I want to marry you too but, as much as it rips at my heart, I know she can give you the life you've always wanted. The life that I could never give you, Caspian."

The pair both allowed tears to free themselves from their eyes but still neither dared to pull apart.

"My heart is and always will belong to you, Susan Pevensie. And if by some miracle, I get to see you again in this lifetime, I hope you'll allow my heart to beat for you again, as strong as it always has."

Susan leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. His hand pressed to her cheek, and she could feel as more tears fell down his face.

They pulled away after a moment, staring at one another. "Marry her," she whispered, her heart tearing itself in the process.

He hesitated. Then he nodded.

They walked, hand in hand, back towards the group. When they reached them, they all cast them sympathetic looks but said nothing.

"Your time has come my children." Aslan announced, drawing fresh tears from Susan and Caspian. The lion roared, causing a hole in the waves to form, one that would undoubtedly take them back to their own world.

Peter, Lucy, Edmund, and Eustace, albeit reluctant, nodded and made their way towards the portal obediently.

Susan remained planted to the spot until the group turned back.

She glanced at their interwoven hands, gently unthreading her fingers from his as she walked towards her family. Caspian flexed his hand slightly, feeling as though, by breaking their hands apart, she had broken his heart all over again.

He was taken back to three years ago, the thirteen-year-old boy that he was, feeling upset that Susan had kissed him and then left. That feeling did not compare to his current ones. The tears on his face had dried and were being replaced by fresh ones, the cycle repeating.

Susan paused as she reached the portal and turned back to Caspian. He saw that their expressions mirrored each other, as did their hearts.

She mouthed "I love you" before turning and leaving through the portal, not waiting for a reply.

The Pevensies were gone.

She was gone.

Caspian suddenly felt rather nauseous and grasped at the collar of his shirt, wishing to relieve himself of the fabric that choked him but stilling when his hands met something cold.

He pulled it out of his shirt, releasing a torturous sob that clawed at his chest, his throat, anything it could reach that it could cause suffering to, and it did.

It caused nothing by pain as he stared at it.

The necklace that lay in his palm.

Her necklace.

* * *

Susan and Peter found themselves back in their hotel room, and he looked at her in worry as she fell to her knees.

Sobs reverberated throughout the room, tears dripping onto the carpet from her glassy eyes. He knelt beside her pulling his younger sister into a hug, allowing her to grip onto him for support.

They remained like that for the remainder of the night.

In each other's arms.

Shedding tears over lost love.