Back To The Beginning

Chapter 10

Hope's POV: Stepping out of the shower, I made sure to keep my eyes shut as I wrapped the robe around myself before walking from the bathroom toward the twins' dorm. Pulling open the door, I paused, finding Lizzie sitting on her bed, her hair still wet from her shower. Closing the door behind me, I tossed the towel aside before sitting down beside her. "For a minute, I forgot where I was", she admitted quietly. "I just stepped out of the shower and came straight here. It wasn't until I realized that my pajama pants were too long and Josie's stuff was still in the room that everything came flooding back", she explained, turning her head to look over at me with a guilty expression. "How's your arm", she asked, looking toward the white bandage. 

"Oh, it's fine. It's barely a scratch", I assured, shrugging my shoulders, wincing at the movement.

"I can tell when I'm lying, Hope", she pointed out, causing me to fall silent once more. 

"Why were you so worried about the party", I spoke up, looking down at my lap. "Were you worried that I might do something", I questioned. 

"No. It wasn't you I was worried about. It's just...", she trailed off, exhaling deeply. "Tonight was the night that I realized Penelope Park was a good person for my sister", she admitted, causing me to look over at her in confusion. "I was trying to push my feelings aside, so that Josie would be happy, but she saw right through me", she sighed. "I drank...a lot", she said, looking down at her hands. "I walked into the kitchen to get another cup, and bumped into Connor. The next thing I knew, Connor was leading me upstairs and I was a giggling idiot", she exhaled shakily, shaking her head at herself as she clenched her hands to stop them from shaking.

Stepping away from the door, I walked over to the fridge to look for a can of soda, but all I could find was beer and cheap wine. Scrunching my nose up in disgust, I shook my head before turning around to return to the party only to walk into someone, causing me to stumble backward. "Whoa. Damn, Lizzie. How much did you drink", I heard someone laugh, before my eyes zeroed on a familiar face.

"Excuse me", I scoffed, taking a step back.

"You don't have to lie to me", he laughed. "I get it", he smiled, causing me to frown in confusion as he stepped forward to push a strand of hair behind my ear. "God, you're beautiful", he whispered, cupping my face before meeting my eyes. "Why don't we take this somewhere a bit more...private", he suggested, looking me over with dark eyes. "There's plenty of bedrooms upstairs", he offered, licking his lips before I jerked away from him in disgust.

I shivered at the memory as I thought about what Lizzie said. If I had actually drank at all tonight, could that have been me? If I was drunk enough, would I allow myself to sleep with Connor despite knowing that I wasn't myself? 

"Penelope walked in, and...", she paused, wiping at her eyes. "I don't remember much, but I do remember her breaking Connor's nose. She would've done more, but...I stopped her", she admitted, as I searched her eyes in concern. "She stopped me from making the biggest mistake in my life", she explained. "She tried telling me that it was his fault for taking advantage of me, but if I would've just told her how I felt instead of trying to drink my problems away, then none of it would've happened", she sniffed. 

"Oh, Lizzie. I'm so sorry", I whispered, pulling her into a hug as she cried softly. "None of that was your fault. Connor should've never allowed anything like that to happen", I told her.

"I tried to tell her that I was fine, but I guess I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions, because the next thing I knew, the room felt too small and I was running out the front door", she continued. "I ran into the woods to try and calm down, but Dana followed me", she explained. "By the time I realized...it was already too late", she said, as I rubbed her back soothingly. "I nearly killed her, Hope", she cried.