Duality

Chapter 9

"I am flawed, I am a failure, I am a broken person so what? Can you really push me away for being so misunderstood? All I just want is to be heard without having anyone think of me differently. I mean come on, I am human I feel and sympathize too. I have a heart; I am not heartless. You all simply took my heart, mended it, and tore it leaving me with nothing. You all made me fricking selfish for wanting so much that is only for me. When I tell you that enough is enough, I am done and through with everyone's problems. I guarantee you, Amiya, no one is even close to being as considerate as I am, selfless if you must. But no, only I am called out the bare second, I just say 'can you help me or give me advice on something.' Every little lie that I spit out gives me butterflies now, it is a habit now. This is not me, but it is Amiya. To harm others indirectly by feeding lies about myself and acting as if they are the world to me, it is a habit that will never die out. It is natural now for me to hug my own family and keep them happy while deep down in my heart I see myself burning them alive. My own friends now panic at my sight when they know my true motives and intentions. My footsteps shriek mixed emotions of horror and pity. My cries and pleads of help and for help are never heard, always ignored, and tossed to the side with no care. These tears I have drown me in a wild raging ocean even if I encage them in a volcano, it all erupted. And the best part of this is I never was this myself, I never chose to be this way. I never chose to be the sick one nor the psycho; you all did and especially you Amiya. You made me into this mindless, emotionless psychotic little girl! Now you must go away, leave me for eternity and banish to in-existence." Amiya rambles on madly while pacing around the bathroom.

The reflection of Amiya tears up completely speechless and frozen with time. She simply keeps an eye on Amiya as she sheds more tears without realizing. But then again, this is Amiya; she knows how to ignore what her heart desires.

Amiya recollects herself and regains her composure from her constant rambling like a mental girl. She stares right at the mirror and smiles ever so evilly. Her only intention, to get rid of the hideous reflection that is in front of her. She walks closer to the mirror her snickers more tedious with more cunning.

"Hey! Stop do not take a step closer to me you freak! Stay away from me you creep! You monster, get away from me not even an inch closer!" Amiya in the mirror jumps in horror and shrieks absolutely mortified from Amiya's closeness.

Amiya laughs more psychotically than ever before, her voice echoing through the bathroom while watching the puny little scene her reflection creates.

Her reflection gulps with more fear as she begs repeatedly to spare her. Her body trembling hastily as coincidentally the lights flicker once more adding more tension in the atmosphere. The blinking lights add more to the horror as Amiya appears more hauntingly disfigured as she reaches her bloody hand forward.

"P-Please keep your hand away from me... I do not want you anymore closer to me and reach out to me please." the reflection pleads in a pitiful way that would have melted Amiya's heart if she still was the sweetheart she was.

Amiya giggles softly yet frantically as she touches the mirror wiping the image away with all her might. Amiya's reflection slowly vanishes to thin air with no trace; her words cease to an end as her voice silences forever.

The last thing Amiya sees is the dreadful look of herself as she finally erases Amiya's mirrored face; however, the image of bloodshot eyes with tears streaming down her face with fear written all over herself stuck in Amiya's head.

'Her image, her voice it is still there with me. Why, I got rid of her, I am free from her then why do I have her face preserved in my mind?' Amiya thinks to herself while trying her best to get the picture out of her mind.

Amiya closes her eyes shut and screams maniacally loud with her tears now falling in a constant stream.

"Aah! She is done, dead, forever lost and never to be found ever again. That Amiya will never be talked about or needed- even remembered again." Amiya talks to herself as she finally hits her head and eliminates all images of her reflection as she keeps her eyes closed.

Amiya stares into darkness and nothingness; her mind racing and pulsing through finding a way to reach the end of it all. Her tears continue to fall as she lifts her head up high. She leaves her tears as is, not bothering to wipe them away. Her only attention is her blank, black mind as she attempts to find a sense of belonging.

'My mind and heart, even my soul scattered in many pieces. What stands in front of me is another mirror, but it is broken glass everywhere.' Amiya thinks to herself as her image clears up seeing her walking in a still isolated and dark space with the shattered mirror in front of her.