Duality

Chapter 11

After a debate to herself, Amiya opens her eyes slowly. Her vision a bit blurry and hazed from the teary sight her tears created. Amiya blinks a bit to clear her vision and allows her tears to fall quickly and regain her sight.

"I look like a mess do I not? I am a mess Amiya. My heart is burdening with each growing second. Damn it, you should be scared but am I really in control. All of my troubles seem to burn in the burning fire, but they do not perish. It is like they are immune no matter what I do. I am one with misery no matter how much effort I put to outcome it. I am drowning but I want you all to remember who Amiya is." Amiya talks nonstop to herself.

'You are Amiya.' Amiya thinks to herself.

"Amiya is the girl who was the sunshine of happiness but now is a pit of darkness that invites sorrow. Amiya is the girl who is broken to the point where she can no longer be normal or how she once was. Amiya is the girl that was once everyone's best friend but now she has no one not even herself. Why you ask, because even she is her biggest enemy along with all the taunts and judgement this place must throw at. Even her heart gave up on what it wants. Her tears are fed up with crying. She cannot even ask to be put out of this misery because then she will be acknowledged as merely greedy for the constant attention she seeks." Amiya corrects the answer from her mind.

"Amiya is the girl that can let go of it all and allow life to pursue on without her existence. Amiya is the girl who does not matter anymore after everything she has done. Amiya is the girl who knows it is the end but still hold onto a small cliff of glimmering hope that she can mend everything." Amiya frantically speaks as if giving an identity to herself.

Amiya sighs softly and she looks at herself in the mirror, her vision now clear like crystal as she stares at her reflection.

Her reflection now reflects her true image: the Amiya with teary eyes but fortunately her originally lost sweet smile that finds its lost shine and purity once more. Her smile is genuine and tenderly filled with love and acceptance. It is heartwarming which melted everyone's heart away in peace. Her smile soothing to look at as it brought a sense of belonging and safety into the environment.

Amiya looks at her reflection emitting such a wonderful and pleasant aura which brings happiness to Amiya. Her mindset becomes clear as she laughs softly to herself as a smile resurfaces on her face.

"Amiya, the girl that can have it all. She can- no, I can have it all. If my reflection is not giving up on me, then I should not give up on myself either. People who give it up and accept defeat never acquire what they desire. They do not get the highest potential of their deserving, but me, I will fight and reform everything to the best of my ability. Things will never be the same, but it can be better. I am Amiya, the girl who held onto little hope as it flickered constantly in a struggle to stay alive. I am Amiya, the girl who finally opened her eyes and realized that life is not people perceive you. It is about how you want to be perceived and be in the eyes of yourself. You can never change the way a person thinks of you, that is simply what their mind has decided. I know that I now want to live with my head held high with pride of being me, Amiya." Amiya speaks confidently as her eyes stay glued to her heartwarming presence.

Perhaps Amiya is losing her sanity, or maybe she is regaining her sanity after a long time? She giggles softly to herself once more as she feels a strange happiness and joy. All her tears dry out and disappear into nothingness as her serene smile and laughter take over Amiya's overall gloomy mood. Amiya radiates the sweetness that she wished to have when she was innocent and immature. Amiya's smile glows brightly just like it was when she had no knowledge of cruel and harsh society became as she grew.

"I can have everything I once lost and pushed away from me. I can potentially be the Amiya I once was with no fear. I can express and share everything to everyone I want to with no hesitation or concern." Amiya says giddily to herself.

Amiya looks down at the sink and turns it on letting the water flow down from the tap. She listens to the sound as she feels the water. She lowers herself a bit before cupping her hands under the cold water and splashing it gently on her face.

"Mm, it feels refreshing. It feels relaxing as the cool water hits my face and washes the tears away. It washes all the pain and sadness away, this cool running water." Amiya calmly speaks to herself in satisfaction.

Amiya hums softly feeling a sense of lightening in her heart. A huge burden that suppressed her has been uplifted and lets her breathe with ease.

Amiya turns the water off and grabs the nearby towel to wipe her face dry. She looks up at herself in the mirror. Now in her mirror is her reflection that smiles brightly filled with enthusiasm.

"She looks so much at peace with joy. It is so heart touching and now I want to be that Amiya." Amiya smiles more as she gently touches the mirror to herself.

Amiya feels her reflection pass on the extremely positive attitude to herself as she cleans up her hand and takes care of it.

"Amiya you are going amazing. Never give up and everything you want will happen in your favour. Just keep smiling sweetly and be the kind-hearted girl I know you are. Believe me and keep on walking with friends and never be stranded." the reflection of Amiya smiles while motivating her positively.

"Thank you it means a lot and I will always remember these words by heart." Amiya responds with a smile.

Amiya takes a deep breath and takes in the aura of happiness that she finally found. This time Amiya will not let go of it all no matter what.

"I will never forget this. I will always hang on with the hope no matter how small or weak it shines." Amiya says before turning off the light as she opens the door of the bathroom.

Amiya watches her reflection fade into the darkness of the bathroom as she leaves the bathroom. She walks back to her friends slightly nervous of what will happen. However, a smile is still on her face, the same sweet smile her friends seen on her whenever they were together.