Cosmic Crush

42

c o s m i c   c r u s h

∞

42

Tricia

"Is this what you want?" Lio asked in a cold tone as he pinned me to the wall.

Napalunok ako. Paano kami napunta rito? Sa pagkakaalala ko ay nasa Physics building lang ako kanina. I was seething with anger as I waited for their class to end.

Sino ba naman ang hindi magagalit kung bukas na ang alis nila patungong Cambridge? Isaac told me they had to leave earlier than planned because they needed to check-in to their dorms next week. Lio did not tell my anything about it! Bukod pa riyan, hindi niya rin nilinaw kung ano ang namamagitan sa aming dalawa.

It was frustrating trying to figure out if I should kiss him goodbye or give him a 'friendly' hug. I didn't know what this was. Best friend ba ako? Fling ba ako? Nililigawan niya ba ako?

"Ano ba!" singhal ko at saka tinulak ang balikat niya.

He didn't budge. Mas nilapit niya ang kaniyang mukha sa akin. In a whisper, he rasped, "Tell me, Tricia... Do you want this?"

"I-I don't want any of this."

Walang katao-tao ang likod ng auditorium. Dito 'yong office minsan ng PE instructor, pero alas singko na ng hapon at wala nang dumadaan halos sa bahaging ito ng university. This place was infamous among students. Dito kasi nagme-make out kadalasan ang mga estudyante.

"Anong gusto mo kung ganoon?" tanong niya sa banayad na boses.

Tumama ang mainit na hininga niya sa aking leeg. My breasts tightened when he touched me on my waist. Para akong lumulutang sa ere.

Kahit naghuhuramentado ang puso ko'y mariin ko pa rin siyang tinignan. "I want you to tell me what's between us. I want to know... are we more than friends?"

"You tell me..."

"Bakit ako? You were the one who kissed me."

Naningkit ang kaniyang mga mata. "You were seducing me."

"I was not!"

I mean, I might have lingered my eyes on him a little longer, and I might have blushed and freaked out every time our skin touched, pero ganoon naman siguro ang magiging reaksyon ng kahit sino kung kayong dalawa lang ang nasa loob ng hotel room niyo.

What was I supposed to do? We were friends, but my eyes were working just fine. Anyone would feel a little something with him. He was Lio, for goodness' sake! Matalino, guwapo, masipag, masinop, mabuting tao. The whole university was crushing on him.

His dark brown eyes went colder. "I'm not like your suitors, Isha. I don't have enough leisure time to give you the kind of relationship you want. I can't take you to fancy restaurants every weekend. I don't drive a sportscar—"

"Is that what you think of me?" my voice trembled a little. "Am I just a materialistic girl in your eyes? Gaano ba kababaw ang tingin mo sa akin para isiping 'yan ang habol ko sa mga manliligaw ko?"

"Everyone knows you're high-maintenance."

Sa inis ko ay hinampas ko ang kaniyang dibdib. I wanted him to feel the pang of hurt that pierced through my heart just now.

Ito ang napapala mo, Tricia. Alam mo namang hanggang bestfriend lang kayo pero nagmaktol ka pa rin tungkol sa nangyari sa inyo sa La Union. Kung sana nagkunwari ka na lang na hindi 'yon nangyari, hindi ka sana napapahiya ngayon.

Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko. I averted my eyes from him and wiped the tears strolling down my cheeks. Ano bang gusto kong marinig? Even if he told me he liked me, it's useless now. He's leaving tomorrow.

I pushed him again. This time, I successfully got out from being pinned to the wall. Hindi ko na naiwasan ang paglabas ng aking mga hikbi.

"Tricia," Lio called. His voice was now soft and filled with tenderness.

He tried to catch my hand, but I stepped away from him. Puno ng luha ang aking mga mata nang tignan siya.

"Why are you doing this to me? I'm not asking for too much. I just want you to give me clarity. I want you to finish what you started."

Akmang lalagpasan ko siya nang hulihin niya ulit ang palapulsuhan ko. He pulled me and pushed me gently to the wall. Kinulong niya ako sa kaniyang mga braso.

It was all so fast. When our eyes locked, my heart was already aching to jump out of my ribcage. I could smell his manly scent as he leaned closer to me. My knees wobbled at the anticipation.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked.

"Finishing what I started," he replied, then his lips crashed on mine.