Shift OR Drift

Amberly

Three days. It has been three long days since the cookout with Lexy's family and AJ. For three days I have locked myself in my room, turned my phone off to focus on music, and shut out the world. I stayed with the Brooks that night after we visited my father's grave and placed flowers at his gravestone. Lexy and AJ went back to the house. The rest of the cookout went fine after the reluctant agreement to bring Killian over this weekend. Although, there have been many excuses to come to mind as to why we cannot make it, Miranda and Carson will both keep rescheduling for however long they see fit until I bring him over anyway. There is no out and maybe facing them now will deter them later especially when they realize Killian Scott is not as well mannered as they have made him in their minds. Lexy and I have barely spoken since the cookout as my anger still wafts in the air when I am around her. Not my fault she last minute chose to side with Alexander instead of me. She knows I do not do the whole dating thing and yet here she is telling everyone I will gladly bring a guy over to meet my second family when I have never in the last six years brought anyone over. She played right into her parent's hands and trapped me in place. What was I supposed to do? Say no? It never works out.

I sit and stare at the computer on my lap adjusting some of the beats to a little more club-type vibe when an idea hits me. It is Tuesday. Lexy has off tomorrow, I have once again called in. We are going to the club. If she wants to tell her family about Killian so be it, but it does not mean I have to abide by anything. Since my phone has been off there has been no Killian, no Miranda, no Carson just silence. I hate silence most of the time but as of late it is a much-invited feeling. Besides, when I look super slutty at the club tonight, there is no way any man will be able to resist and that is exactly what I am going for. All things Killian need to be sucked directly from my brain. Away from reality and into the abyss. I need a good party and quite candidly, a party without Killian Scott having the ability to pull me away from sounds exactly like what I need.

In a hungry fashion, my hands make their way through my closet searching for the one outfit I am sure any parent would be ashamed of. Not like I have any parents to shame anyway. My hands land on the perfect two-piece top and skirt and my eyes do a little sparkle at the sight. The very outfit I have not worn in two years since the last time I went to a club. I toss the outfit my greedy hands and thoughts threw together on my bed, and I start the shower. My brain is rolling with all the possibilities of how tonight could possibly end. Hopping in the warm water, Wicked as They Come by CRMNL echoes throughout the room off of my Bluetooth speaker after I connect my laptop. Refusing to turn on my phone still. I shut the bathroom door locking it. This time maybe Lexy will know better than to let someone in the house while I am in the shower, not that she even knows about what happened. With the events of three days ago, I have said maybe two words to her, if any. Not my fault she signed me up for something I did not want to be signed up for. Maybe she will learn her lesson and be smart enough not to do it a second time.

My body slides into the warm water, in a speedy fashion, I shower to prevent my mind from taking a turndown devil's lane. This is not the time for it, especially after the last time I did. It made me a little more aware of my timing or even the thought there might be unwanted guests lurking in my bedroom readily available to hear everything which goes on in my bathroom while the door is closed. No, I learned my lesson and save that time for when my bedroom door is locked, and the house is dead silent. Leave it to Killian Scott to ruin that for me too. I am beginning to think no matter the outcome, I am not ever going to gain points on him as he is at two points, and I only have one. It is a fifty percentile right now but, part of me thinks this is just the start to a very long, lost game. One where I am in over my head as the truth is something one can only hide for so long. Something one can only cover up and pretend is not there for so long. Something none of us are prepared to come to the surface.