Shift OR Drift

Killian

I struggle to fix my tie in the mirror, tugging on it here and there. How on earth am I supposed to walk into this massive meeting and seem like I know what I am talking about if I cannot even tie my own fucking tie? Frustration fills me, my feet pace back and forth in Royce's and mine room. I have a white button-up, navy blue slacks, and a back vest that hugs my body, and for some reason, this stupid plain navy-blue tie will not go together. Royce opens the door and stares at me while I loosen my tie again, to redo it for the sixth time. A smile dances across his lips and for a split second, the thought of slapping it off his face seems like a damn good idea. He undoes it and forces me to the mirror. Tying it so I can see. He taps it, notifying me he is done. My face is still in a hard 'don't fuck with me' setting which seems to be clear enough that even Royce does not ask what this is all about.

I step out of the bedroom and grab my keys. I check my pockets to make sure I am not forgetting a single thing and take off out the door. Nervous and feel like I am late even though I am very early. I hop in the driver's seat and head straight for Amberly and Lexy's place. They said they would be waiting for us, for what I have planned, I do not need Royce or even AJ in the backseat watching the show. Even if it is nice having Royce around acting like his old self rather than Trey Scott acting alike him, similar to what I saw in New Jersey. Royce does not need to be around one hundred percent of the time. All three of us had a discussion about the new place we are supposed to be checking out next weekend. I guess all I needed to do to grab AJ's attention on the move topic was bring Royce home. The two of them are like two peas in a fucking pod. Except, I am stuck in the middle playing Mr. Nice guy while those two banter back and forth like they did at the house when Amberly and I just stared at each other.

I was hoping she would not try to read into my eyes and see what I was hiding. I could sense her searching. Her mind spinning at why out of the fucking blue my dumb ass decides to get jealous, protective even, over her. She wants answers and I so badly want to give them to her but, she would never look at me the same again. She would never kiss me the same again if there was a chance for her to want to kiss me at all. She would never let me touch her again. No matter how much she thinks she may want me. She would hate me for eternity. I am the selfish fuck who would rather withhold the truth and get her attention than tell her the truth and watch her crumble.

The way I found her holding her father's picture told me all there is to know. She misses him. A lot as of late. I even started to wonder if she is truly okay. Part of me still wonders if the thought had ever crossed her pretty little mind that her father was murdered or if she just accepted the false document which stated, automobile malfunction in red letters. Her father was under the hood of his car every day. He had trained ears which took years upon years of working on the same car every day to hear what was wrong with it. There is absolutely no way something malfunctioned or failed. He was too paranoid about it.

The truth eats me alive every time I look at her. She resembles him in some ways. The witty comebacks. The independence. The car. The dark hair on the top of her head. The green eyes. Everything. I was seventeen when he was murdered. I even remember the exact conversation I had with him before he entered the strip before his 'malfunction' happened. Sending his car airborne and coming down on the hood crushing the top down on him. I was there. I watched it all. The same as Amberly did. Her screams from that day still echo in my brain from time to time.

My sick fuck of a father did nothing. Showed nothing. He sat there and collected his money staring at his phone as if he had won the lottery although he basically had. The look on his face when he grabbed my shoulder still haunts me to this day. While Amberly's father was engulfed in flames, my sick fuck of a father was planning his next move. Not even concerned with Amberly's ear-piercing screams and cries in the air. He collected his millions of dollars from money coated in crime. He may not have been the one to pull the trigger, but he was the one who had his name branded and carved on the gun. It should have been him, he should have been the one in the car that day all those years ago. He should have been the one who died. No one would have missed him. Not me, not Royce, no one. He got his money and his power from shady things and tonight, his world is going to crush him. Tonight, I am going to drop his organization on his head. He will suffocate in his own deprivation. My mother will run away as usual and may she never return. Tonight, changes will be made, phase one will begin of my plan that only Royce is aware of.