Shift OR Drift

Killian

Amberly's soft breaths fill the air around us. My body pulsates from her touch. Her soft lips on my sensitive skin plays in my mind on repeat. Even though she is asleep, I enjoy the calmness of us in the claw tub. Her music sounds around the room. I sink a little further into the water, doing my best at supporting her tired and exhausted body. I kiss her head. In all the relationships I have been in, physical, mental, and even emotional ones, I have never felt this connection with anyone. There is much to learn about each other yet, there is a certain peace when she is around. As if my crazy-ass father does not exist. My mother is a distant thought. When we are together, it is her and me. No one else. The feelings I have for her go deeper than blood. They are something else. I have never felt the need or desire to protect someone the way I do her. Even if it means shielding her from the truth.

As the water starts to chill, my arms loop around Amberly and scoop her up. Withdrawing both of us from the tub and into her bedroom. Had we not left the hospital only an hour ago, all of my desires would have come to the surface, and she would have been mine on the counter but, the look in her eyes told me all there was to know, she was exhausted. Despite the drugs in her body, she looked as if she had not slept in weeks but I was not about to be the one to tell her that. Lexy or even no filter Royce could have told her but, based on their bit lips during dinner for once, it appeared as if they knew better. As if they cared about her enough not to tell her about her makeup being smeared down her face or the fact her hair was all over the place. They understood.

I place her in the bed and climb in behind her after draining the tub. I cradle my arms around her doing my best to be delicate yet, I want to squeeze the air from her lungs to ensure she cannot get away from me. To ensure no one can take her. She has to stay here in this bed, with no regard of time. It is the only way my brain has decided to keep her safe. With the number of cars outside, I doubt my father would even set foot on the porch.  All thoughts of me ripping his empire out from under him are gone. I tried. I failed. There is nothing more to attempt. After the stunt he pulled, I am removing his funds from my account tomorrow and changing my number. I am going to do what I should have done a long time ago. Cutting him off.

I lay awake most of the night, trapping Amberly in my arms, although the several times she attempted to turn on a different side, I let her. She looks uncomfortable but, who would not be in this small ass bed? Another thing to add to my list, Royce may end up getting drug along with me to run errands. AJ and Lexy already privately discussed their plan to house sit her tomorrow. She is lucky to have all these people to care about her. I wish I did some days. However, with a broken family such as mine, there were no bringing kids over in grade school. The only time anyone from high school came with me was because I knew father was here in California doing business deals. The few friends I did have thought it was the definition of awesome of me to be a millionaire's son my senior year but, they never knew what happened behind closed doors. They never knew about the fights. The yelling. The arguments. I kept all those things to myself. Whenever I was asked about my mother I simply told them she lives somewhere else in the states. It was not wrong but, it was not always right. She came back. Every time. Repeating her cycle.

I look at Amberly's face and slowly remove my dead arm from under her neck and pillow. I get up, put on boxers, and make my way down the stairs into the kitchen. Royce's lean gangly teenage body sprawled out on the couch. When the third step creaks under my feet and his head snaps in my direction. When I was little it would scare me with his pretend sleeping. He would have this wild look in his eyes followed by a drunkenly tired and crazed grin plastered on his face. After about the fifth time of him doing it to me, I got used to it and stopped damn near punching him in the face out of fear. Reflexes, I swear.

Many years ago, when we were little and still had to go to school, Royce was in first grade, and I was in fifth. We were not even half the size we both are now. A kid in third grade grabbed Killian's backpack and threw him to the ground unaware I was watching near the principal's office. I was near the office because I got caught in a fight moments before. Back then our father was broke and almost every person knew it. Even the kids who had rich parents knew it. It put an easy target on our back from day one. The bullies of the school assumed we were easy targets at least.