Come Back To Me

Gone

Dean woke, gasping for air. He became a little disoriented by his surroundings. The lumpy mattress, the bedside lamp flicked on, the blanket sprawled across him. He was back in his room at the bunker... But he was just at the bar, throwing back beer after beer and shot after shot. He didn't remember leaving, much less driving home. He'd been in no condition to drive home. Oh God! Baby!! Dean jumped to his feet and immediately regretted it as his head swam, and his stomach turned flips.

He steadied himself with one hand against the wall and his other holding his head. In through your nose, out through your mouth Winchester. This ain't your first rodeo. He mentally grouched at himself. He slowly trudged up the stairs and into the garage. There she was, in one piece. But how? If he drove home, he knew he wouldn't be there right now. Him and Baby would be wrapped around a tree! Too confused to think on it right now, he made his way down to the kitchen to make coffee. He could figure his shit out after he was properly caffeinated and fully awake. He sat at the table, nursing his mug of hot coffee when Sam walked into the kitchen.

"Hey.. Dean. When did you get in?" He tried to keep the shock and worry out of his tone and maintain a neutral expression but he failed, and of course Dean noticed.

"Eh, don't know.. you didn't hitch a ride and come get me? Cause I don't remember ever leaving the bar, much less driving home.. last thing I remember was you texted asking where I was then downing another beer and shooting some pool"

"No Dean, I was with Eileen at the theaters, then she dropped me off here and headed home. I texted you when I noticed you still hadn't gotten back and it was after midnight.. You better not be drinking and driving.. you could end up seriously hurt.. or worse, someone else could!"

"I didn't.. I don't know how I got here and the car in one piece, but I'm not dad, so cut it out," Dean roared and stomped back off to his room. He didn't need this. He didn't need a lot of the bullshit he had to put up with. Sitting down on his bed, his eyes strayed to the armchair in the corner. Tears welled up again at the sight of the old tan trenchcoat lazily sprawled across the back.. it'd fallen off before he.. it's all he had left of.. of him. God, he couldn't even think his name.

Sam muttered as he fumbled about the kitchen, washing their mugs and the few dishes from dinner the night before. Dean's plate had been completely untouched. He hadn't been eating, but what he lacked in food, he'd been more than making up for in alcohol. He was worried, truly. His brother was becoming more and more withdrawn as the days passed.. he was pulling back from him.. truthfully, their conversation moments ago was the longest one they'd held since before.. before Cas died, and his death was sending Dean spiraling into depression. Too much longer, and he feared his brother would be gone.

Sam wasn't an idiot, he knew what was going on. Dean hadn't just lost a best friend. He'd never admitted it to Sam, and he probably never would, but he wasn't blind to the issue. Dean had been in love with Cas. It was in his eyes. In every move he made. The way he, a human, would shield Cas, an angel. The way he'd stand a little closer than circumstances deemed necessary. How his eyes would get just a fraction brighter when Cas would speak. How he went to great lengths that day to find some way to bring him back, staying up for almost 48 hours searching through every book in the library.. he'd done everything but pray to Jack, and Sam knew that was because of the guilt he felt for Jack having to lose his father figure..

It was a few moments later when Sam felt a faint gust of wind and heard the familiar sound of wings behind him. He turned sharply holding out a knife he'd been washing, then promptly dropped it in shock.

"Hello Sam."

"Jack? Cas? What the-"

Cas quickly surged forward and placed a hand over Sam's mouth, effectively shutting him up.
He couldn't have Sam yelling and alerting him to his presence. It was best, at least for now, that he didn't know Cas was here, that he was alive.

"Please keep it down, I don't need.. Dean.. knowing I'm here." It was the first time he'd said his name since being back. It sent a sharp pang to his heart. He missed him, more than anything, but he needed time. Jack stood by watching on with a look of disagreement but refrained from commenting.

"Why?"

Cas inhaled and quietly let it out. How to phrase this? "Sam, you weren't there. I- I said things that, while I meant them, I said them because I knew I could, and wouldn't have to face the consequences with Dean's response. I know that seems awful, but you have to understand that I had no clue I would get out. As far as I was concerned that was the last time I would see him, and I had to get things off my chest, before.." He paused, the memory coming back in vivid flashes. "But now, I am out, and I'm afraid of how he will react not only to seeing me, but what I had said. Please, I just, I need time to figure out how to face him again."

Sam actually understood. Slowly nodding his head, he mumbled a quiet "okay", and they sat and talked. Sam was a mixture of shock, relief, and guilt as he learned that Cas was the one who had brought Dean home. Dean had passed out drunk at the bar, and Cas came to help. He'd been keeping an eye on him and knew Sam would be worried. After bringing Dean back to the bunker and getting him settled in, he'd went back and retrieved the Impala, knowing Dean would freak if it was left outside the bar all night. Dean was telling the truth. He didn't drive drunk, and Sam hadn't believed him. He should have. He knew Dean's fear of being like their father. There's no way he would have ever done something so stupid.

"I must be going, but please Sam, I am begging you. Don't tell him I'm back yet." Cas wasn't looking at him, instead keeping his eyes on his hands as he twisted them in his lap. He promised he wouldn't, but did tell Cas he needed to do it soon, for Dean's sake. He didn't go into details cause he was sure Cas knew anyway. With all said and done, Cas and Jack left and Sam sat there stunned, but a slow, hopeful smile spread across his face. Dean will be better soon. Cas will tell him, and he'll have his brother back. Hopefully.

**A/N**
Hey, guys! It's me ya girl Jess! I don't even know lol but first chapter of Come Back To Me is done and up, I hope you enjoyed it. I don't have a set schedule for when I'll update, but that's because I have no clue how long this is gonna be and I'm kinda coming up with it as I go, so bear with me on this, and enjoy the sadness, angst, fluff, and possible smut 😏