Come Back To Me

Nightmares

⚠️⚠️ ****TRIGGER WARNING!! SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND SELF HARM. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS HAS THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE****⚠️⚠️

Dean was sat against the wall, face buried in his hands as he sobbed. His best friend, and the man he was in love with, was gone. The Empty had come, thick, black, and unforgiving. It had surrounded and enveloped him, taking him away to endure a torture that Dean couldn't even imagine.

He had been pushed away at the last moment, been saved, and at the end of it all, after all was said and done, he felt more anguish and pain than if Billie had gotten her hands on him.

"Please be a dream. Please, I need this to be a bad dream. I need it to not be real. I need him, please. I'll do anything. Anything at all to be with him again." His tortured cries growing louder and uncontrollable.

His chest was burning with a pain he hadn't felt in all his life. Maybe once, when he'd lost his mother. His throat was so tight he could hardly breathe, and it felt like a massive hole was carved into him. A piece missing. And he'd never felt so defeated. "Cas!"

***

Dean startled awake, looking over his shoulder. Cas was gone. No.. had it all been a dream? Did he come back or did he imagine it all? He leaped to his feet and went in search of proof. Any proof. That his angel had come back. That he had actually made it home again. He searched everywhere. The kitchen, the war room, the library, Cas' room, the bathroom. He was nowhere to be found. No sign that he had ever been there, and Dean crumpled. Feeling the tears burn his eyes, he stormed to the kitchen and found the whiskey hidden behind the flour inside the cabinet. Sam thought he got rid of it all, but Dean had some crafty hiding places.

Sulking back to his room, and chugging the alcohol, he didn't fight the tears, didn't stop to think. His mind had messed with him, toyed with his emotions, tortured him, and laughed at him. He was never here! He had imagined the whole thing! And he had never felt so stupid in his life. He had hoped, he'd prayed and had blind faith, he'd done all he could, and it wasn't enough. He wasn't enough. And he never would be. He just wanted it all to be over.. and soon, it would be. He dug around in the tiny box he shoved in the back of the closet, and came back with the little silver blade he hadn't seen since his middle school/high school years. Hello old friend.. After scribbling down a quick note to his brother, he sat in the floor with his back against his bed, and in seconds, the warm, thick, red blood was oozing to the surface, a promise of peace.

***

Sam was heading towards Dean's room to tell him about the case he'd found. It was sketchy, not much to go on, and while Dean was asleep, and with a warning to be safe, he'd sent Cas to get a sense of what they would be dealing with. He had sent Sam a text letting him know it was a mass demon possession, and Sam had said they would meet him there and to hang tight til they arrived.

Knocking on the door he looked back over the messages Cas had sent, waiting for Dean to open the door. Except, a few minutes passed and it never opened. He knocked again and called out.

"Dean, listen I found a case I need to talk to you about. Can you open up so we can discuss this?" No answer. He cautiously cracked the door open, and within a second he was across the room, panic in his voice and a wild look in his eyes.

"No! Dammit, Dean hold on!" "Cas get back here now! Hurry, it's Dean!" He yelled into the air, and a moment later, Cas was in the room, looking on in horror.

A/N: Sorry it's a little short.. I tried. I just wanted to get something up for you guys since it's been a while. And sorry for the sadness, I'm trying to make it not overly happy and sappy all the time. There does have to be conflict and angst every now and then. Love you my dudes 💙