Come Back To Me

The next several minutes went by in a flurry of panic and determination. Sam lifted Dean into his arms and laid him on his bed. He set about checking for a pulse and breathing. It was there. Faint and thready, but there.

"Cas! Snap out of it, and help! Dean needs you now." Sam's words were the much needed shock to Cas' brain. He rushed over and pushed Sam away.

"Go find another blanket and get him some water. He'll need it once he's awake. I'll heal him. He'll be okay." His voice was quiet as he stroked Dean's face. Sam hesitated for only a second before he was out the door. Cas leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Dean's lips.

"Please Dean. Come back to me baby, please." He let a single tear slip free before he set to work on healing Dean. He placed one open-palmed hand on his chest and the other on the side of his face, his thumb absently stroking the fine hairs at his temple. He focused all his energy on Dean. Imagining the skin of his wrists fusing back together, imagining his heart thumping strongly, pumping his blood throughout his body, imagining him whole.

A golden glow surrounded his hands where he had them placed on Dean. The warmth spreading throughout his body as he performed the miracle, doing the one thing he could for his love. Once he was finished, he pulled the armchair from the corner to beside the bed so he could hold Dean's hand as he waited.

Sam brought the extra blanket and water, setting the glass on the nightstand and spreading the blanket over his brother gently. A solitary piece of paper at the foot of the bed caught his eye as he was about to leave. He bent to pick it up, seeing his name written across the front. He opened it, reading Dean's neat scrawl.

Sam,

I'm so sorry. I never wanted it to be like this, but I couldn't deal anymore. The nightmares along with the dreams wouldn't stop. I kept seeing him, and I thought it was real, but it wasn't, and I just couldn't do it. I loved him Sammy. Second only to you. Maybe I'll see him in heaven.. I don't know.. I don't know what Jack has done with heaven now that Chuck is gone, but it has to be better than this.

I love you Sammy, I hate to leave you like this, but you're strong. You can make it without me. Hell, you're better without me holding you back. I'm broken. Always have been. But I never realized how bad until lately... I dreamed that Cas had come back... And it was a good dream, but waking up and finding out it was just that, a dream, hurt more than words can say. I know it was stupid, but I actually half expected him to be there when I woke up. Wishful thinking? Yeah, maybe.. anyway, be good. Take care of yourself and Elieen.. I'll see you again one day..

-Dean

Sam didn't realize he'd been silently crying until Cas asked what was wrong. He showed him the note and Cas' face twisted into one of confusion and then sadness.

"The case. He mistook my absence as it all being a dream. He doesn't think any of it was real. I didn't know he would do this though.. or I would have woken him to tell him."

"He picked up the "habit" about the time he started highschool. He doesn't know that I know.. but it was hard not to see the scars when you're a little kid who admires his big brother and watches everything they do. I think it was his way of coping. He didn't have a release for all the pent up emotions. Mom was gone, dad wouldn't listen, and he had to take care of me, which to him, meant not burdening me, pretending everything was fine. I knew he had stopped when I didn't see anymore fresh marks... thought it was for good, but apparently not... I'm not mad. I mean, he's had it way harder than he should have. Right from the start. I guess I'm just upset, you know? I wanna help him.. but he stills sees me as this little brother. Doesn't wanna worry me.."

Sam yawned, exhausted. "I think I'll call in a couple other hunters to deal with that case. We need to be here for Dean."

"Why don't you go rest? I'll keep an eye on him, and I'll let you know when he's awake." Sam nodded and started to leave the room when he suddenly stopped and looked at him.

"I'm glad you're back.. you two are good together. You complete each other." Cas smiled and watched as Sam walked out, closing the door behind him. He got up, removing his shoes and coat before sliding into the bed with Dean, pulling him in to rest his head on his chest, holding him tightly.

"More than the whole world. That is how much I love you. Always and forever, Dean."

A/N:

ANOTHER CHAPTER!! A little bit longer than the others. Really hitting the feels... But it's gonna get better, I promise! Love you my dudes 💙