Platonic Problems

Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Tobias layed in bed thinking. He hasn't had a rest day since the time he was in the country with his father. He broke both of his legs and couldn't attend on Monday. He made himself go the next day all though his parents didn't like it.

That Sunday afternoon was a memory he would remember for a lifetime. He didn't worry about anything. He didn't have to worry about girls, grades, or annoying small blonde boys. He wished he could relive that moment. Rolling down that hill. The scent of the grass and fluorescent foliage, broken legs and all.

The memory of his father in his face yelling at him to wake up is something he wouldn't forget either. It's one of the only memories he remembers of his father before...

'Tobias! Tobias!'

Tobias's eyes shot open to look around him. He was in his own room. Scattered papers on the desk. Clothes on the floor. Tometio was on his bed.

Jessica opened the door and walked in the room.

'Didn't you hear me calling?!'

She shouted.

Tobias looked up to the ceiling and replied with;

'Yes'

'Well why didn't you get up?'

'I'm useless no one wants me around anyone. I'm a failure. I don't have anything left to live for.'

Jessica stood there in the doorway. She was cornered yet confused, he had talked so quickly it was hard for her to make out. Something about being a failure.  Jessica stepped over to Tobias's bed and looked him in the eyes, or at least tried to. He was still focusing on the ceiling.

She cupped her son's face with her hand and spoke softly;

'You are not a failure. You just need some rest, pushing yourself too much can harm yourself.'

...

'Tobias, if there's anything you want to talk about I'm always here.'

Hearing those words, Tobias felt safe at that moment. So he finally told what was stabbing him;

'Mom, will you always love me?'

'Yes.'

Jessica replied.

Tobias paused for a moment.

'Mom, the world is trying to kill me. I'm not needed anymore here, I can't tell
   what I am truly feeling anymore, Violet hates me, I don't know what I feel towards that boy, I'm a dumbass, I can't tell anything from what it is anymore.
I'm overwhelmed and I overreact to the stupidest things. And everything is wrong and confusing and stupid.

She looked at her son, a sobbing mess. Something caught her mind during the whole conversation. 'I don't know how I feel about that boy.'.
Despite everything she had just listened to her son say, those words ringed in her ears.

Jessica looked down at him. He covered his eyes with his hands, and she could see tears running down the sides of his face. She honestly wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. She was confused as well.

'Let's take one step at a time.'

Tobias took his palms off his face to look at her. He sat up slowly, looking at his hands on his lap. Jessica held his face with her hands gently as a mother would. He leaned into them, but it reminded him of the time he was with David. David looking at him. His eyes to his. The loud silence. He wanted to speak with his feelings towards David, but what if it went wrong? What if she hated him?

'Sorry Tobias sweetheart, I have to go to the station. When I get back then we can talk?'

He nodded his head in agreement and she kissed his head before leaving.