You saved me

10

Sunday 10th July 2022

Nessa's Pov- 

I woke up not wanting to do anything it was like my body was drained, I went from feeling like I was on top of the moon to feeling like I was deep under water with no air or energy. I moved away from Jaden and just face the wall, I wanted to cry but there was no tears left I don't know what happened yesterday but I know it was something bad I just hoped that Jaden doesn't think I'm a freak. 

Jaden: Good morning baby 

I don't answer him I want to but I just can't form the words, it felt like my mouth was being forced closed by some strings. Jaden didn't say anything else he just kissed my head and then left the room probably to go tell my dad which I wish he didn't because I hated that he has to baby me when I'm like this. I hate that I have to live with this but I guess it's all my fault because I flushed my meds down the toilet. 

Dad: Good morning princess 

He gets in bed and forces me to face him, he grabs my hand and puts it in his chest and then I wrap my leg around his. I wanted to sleep but I know that my brain won't let that happen. My dad knows how to help me because he's been through so many of these and yeah he doesn't get me out of the episode but he helps me get on my feet and actually gets me the help I need. 

Nessa: *Whispers* Dad I'm sorry 

Dad: *Whispers* Why are you sorry baby

Nessa: It's all my fault 

Dad: No it's not baby 

Nessa: Yes it is, Coopers death is all my fault and now this 

Dad: Hey you didn't make Cooper die, it's not your fault and again it's not your fault that you forgot to take your meds it's been hard for you to cope and you've been tired and crying 

Nessa: Dad I flushed them down the toilet along with my anxiety pills 

Dad: Why 

Nessa: I didn't want drugs in my life 

Dad: Baby what he took was bad drugs your pills are good they help you 

Nessa: I know but what happens if I take to much or what happens if I suddenly become allergic 

Dad: Princess trust me you know to only take two a day and your not allergic we did that test remember when you were 8 and you cried the whole time because you were scared you were going to be allergic to chocolate 

Nessa: Yeah I'm going to the hospital aren't I 

Dad: It's only for the week baby

Nessa: Can you not let Jaden visit me 

Dad: Why don't you want him to 

Nessa: It's embarrassing he's the boy I want to get with and he's going to see me in there 

Jaden: Baby I don't care about you being in there, there is nothing to be embarrassed about you having Bipolar is what makes you who you are. Nessa I'm not going to think any different of you in fact me knowing this is going to make us stronger because were getting to know about each other 

Nessa: Thank you J I really needed to hear that 

Dad: Were going in 4 hours so are you okay to take a shower by yourself

Nessa: My brain won't let my body move 

Dad: I'll get Megan 

When he comes back he has Megan with him and he picks me up and takes me into the bathroom. Jaden had already started the bath so it was ready and warm, the males left and she helped me get undressed and then helped me into the bath. After she washed my hair she got me out and got me dressed. Jaden came in and put my on the counter where he brushed my hair and he even dried it, he helped me brush my teeth and then took me downstairs where my dad had made food.

The whole time I was at home we just sat on the sofa watching movies, me and Jaden were cuddling and he told me when I got out he would take me out of a date which I  couldn't wait for. When I got to the hospital the nurses were waiting for me, I kissed my dad and Megan on the check to say goodbye but with Jaden I kissed him on the lips and told him that I loved him. I got out of the car and the nurses grabbed my arms gently and took me inside and then got me dressed into a gown. They showed me my room for the next four days and I didn't want to do this but I know I need to get better for Jaden and my dad.