CHIDINMA'S STORY

Part 8

8

Thinking of it, I later agreed to move to the other bed. Not because Tessa was being a bitch most of the time, but because I liked Blessing but liked Amina's bubbly side better. It seems a bit too much for me sometimes. But her bubbly nature made me happy and gave me a little hope that happiness still existed. She was carefree, plus she was also the only one that didn't treat me any differently or act like I was some sort of weirdo. I was, but she never made me feel like she felt that way.

And the fact that she knew Uche was gay too and protected him from being found out by faking dating him made me love her more. She was an open-minded person that cared for others and their feelings. I admired her so much. BTW, my finding out that Uche was gay didn't change anything for me at that time. He was still a man. And it seemed to me that that gender was capable of anything at all.

My OCD was already a lot at home and at Grandma's place, but it was as if it became heightened at Evergreen. That place was so untidy, disorganised, dirty, and everything about its arrangement was crooked. I was triggered all the time. Every step I took triggered me, and the fact that the first week I came to that school, everyone was suddenly rocking yellow school bags made me gag multiple times.

One time when we were in physical health education class, something the school forced on us even in senior secondary school, I loved school, but I was going through a lot and did so poorly with my grades. Anyways, one time in PHE class, a student fell and something went wrong. She got injured and blood started gushing out, lots and lots of it. First my breathing heightened, then I had a panic attack, my vision blurred, and the next thing I found myself in the school clinic, another place I hated.

The Clinic bedsheet was yellow, a bright bubbly yellow. I woke up, saw the colour, and screamed like a mad woman. The nurse freaked out. Everyone around the clinic did. I stood up, stepping away from the bed, and so many flashes appeared before my eyes. It was like I was going through everything all over again. I was taken out of the clinic and sat on a bench in a safe spot outside the school field.

The health prefect at the time stood beside me. She tried touching me, and I flinched. She angrily looked at me and said something to her assistant.

"Nawa o, wetin be this one? I think this girl is crazy or something. My sister is in her class and has said a lot about this girl. She doesn't need to be in the clinic but in the guidance counselor's office. "

Her friend laughed and said, "Guidance counsellor fit to cure craze?Abegi"

Then she looked at me and added, "Better do fast with all these your drama o, we have class now."

I was taken to the guidance counsellor, and trust me, it was much worse. She screamed at me and asked why I was making a scene and acting the way I did. She asked why I screamed in the clinic, and I told her why, and also the reason why I fainted. I finally thought maybe I could talk to her about this. I even told her how I felt like cleaning and arranging her office and how I hate being touched.

This woman just screamed at me and forced me to touch everything yellow in her office. She even touched me even when I said I hated it. She put my hands on the yellow stuff while I screamed. She trashed her office in my presence and flogged me, then told me to clean it up and stop acting mad.

It worsened my situation and further alleviated my fear. That's one of the most traumatic events in Evergreen. I went back to my room, cried, and slept.

I discovered the next morning that Amina had helped me arrange the stuff I left unattended and even laundered the dirty ones, just the way I did every single day. And till forever, I'll never forget that gesture.