CHIDINMA'S STORY

Part 15

15

It's crazy, so crazy. I bumped into Farian Mr. Popular some weeks ago. He was excited to see me. He's a pastor now, one of the major shockers of the whole evergreen experience. We talked a bit, and he expressed joy over seeing me. And how everyone was depressed and feared I was dead when I went missing fifteen years ago.

He even told me about Tessa. Oh, I didn't know. She was a bitter soul but truly didn't deserve that. I felt so bad and wished maybe I had gotten to know her better. I asked him when he last heard from Blessing or Amina, and he said Amina left Nigeria years ago and he had no update from Blessing. Which was a bummer because I needed to reconnect and tell them both thanks for their part in my journey.

I still have OCD and live with the fear of something going wrong. Every day, I would stand and watch my baby girl sleep peacefully, praying for her and wanting to only give her the best. All the things I couldn't get from the woman that birthed me. I vow to protect her till my last breath and everybody is a suspect when it comes to my baby girl. Even Femi. Because I know what some dads do. So I have to be on guard for my baby.

Up until today, as much as my scars make me feel stronger, I still feel insecure. All the stitches and all the bruised marks on my skin that have become imprinted like permanent tattoos, remind me of everything; the pain, the tears, the pleas, the feeling of worthlessness, feeling unattractive, rejection, rejection, rejection, and no form of love.

Some of the marks and scars have cleared off, leaving their memories behind. You can't really take that away from me. All those things are part of me. But I refused to let it be in charge of my life. On some days, I want to find my birth mother and that step-dad and take revenge on them for scarring me for life. But I truly can't even do that, because I've moved on. I just hope they are suffering right now.

Nonso and I have been keeping in contact. He was my brother and will always be. The horrible individuals who called themselves our parents and their evil nature won't ruin the fact that I truly loved him. We talk about them still being toxic. Their relationship isn't the best either, but he can't abandon his parents. He is all they've got.

I've still not summoned the courage to tell him about my experience with his father and all the things he did to me. A time will come when I'll be comfortable enough to do so. But until then, I, Chidinma Ireti Adekoya, will be closing my very ancient diary., that even after losing everything, this diary I've always had with me. It is currently in the worst condition, but it'll forever be dear to my heart. The only friend who listens and who has never judged me. My sweet book, until we meet again. We've both gone through hell. I think we both deserve this break.

The end.

Thank you all for reading and for all your votes.❤❤❤