CHIDINMA'S STORY

Part 11

11

The first day Kalu came into my room,I was shocked. It was like my whole life and the whole trauma flashed before my eyes all over again. I had started, even managing to look at the colour yellow. I mean, I was making orange juice, and the colour of yellow and that of orange juice was no different, especially the one they sell in stores. 

He sat on my bed and said he wanted to talk. I was skeptical; my voice was shaky, and I truly didn't want to engage in whatever the conversation was about, but I decided to listen. Mostly because I had no choice. 

He sat down and asked me if his wife actually liked him. He asked if I thought she did. It was confusing, and I didn't know what to say. He replied to me, saying he knew what I meant. He asked if I thought he was ugly and unattractive, and at that point, I wanted to lie to him if that was going to get rid of this weird man from my room. I told him he was attractive and he wasn't ugly. 

He thanked me and left. 

Soon enough, he came most of the time. We talked about a lot of things. It was still weird and uncomfortable for me, but he was really comfortable talking to me. Maybe not all men are horrible people, I thought.  

But my sweet madam was changing. She was angry at me and complained bitterly. And one day, she told me to know my place, which I found confusing. I knew it was relating to her husband because, of course, I'm not dumb. But why did she think I was in a position to remove myself from the place I was very okay with? 

Even Aunty Flora called me and talked to me, saying that I shouldn't pay a good woman back with evil. So the next time Kalu came to my room, I tried telling him to leave. I felt bad because he hadn't done anything to me or had any bad intentions, so why was I pushing away my friend? 

We were talking, although I was uncomfortable because I knew how much this ruined the relationship between me and my madam. And next thing, Kalu moved his hand to my thighs. I flinched and pushed him back. I still hated being touched so much and the whole scenario right now felt too familiar. It felt like dejavu. It felt wrong and I knew what was about to happen. 
He looked at me and said, "So you don't like me or find me attractive? Is it because I'm short and ugly or because I sound funny? "Immediately he started to cry. I watched this old man cry, and I didn't know how to feel. This was another traumatic experience for me. I was feeling bad, even if I was not supposed to. I wanted to fix things. I was sorry. I didn't want to make him cry. I apologised bitterly. And he got up, cleaned his eyes, and asked, "Why can't I touch you? I thought we were friends and we had something special. " 

The way he said it and the way he sounded brought chills to my spine. So I decided I wasn't going to be smiling with him or even saying more than I was supposed to be saying anymore. I didn't like the new vibe he brought, and I knew it was only a matter of time before the bomb that had been ticking would go off.