The Boy Next Door

28.

We get the food and head back to his house to eat. We eat as the sun rises and the dark skies turn to bright and fully of fluffy clouds.

I send him off to bed, telling him I'm going home so I don't bother him anymore. He puts up a fight but he eventually goes to bed as I tell him my parents need me. They have texted me, but I'm still not ready to face them.

I walk to the nearest playground and sit on the swing as I have nothing to do. Well moreover, I don't want to do anything. I just want to escape and leave the world.

My phone is almost dead and there's no point in messaging or scrolling through anything anymore. What do I tell my friends? I'm okay. Don't worry. Say the same thing I always say? I'm sick of it.

I'm not okay. No one will notice if I don't say it, but why do I wish for someone to care? Someone to say, it's okay to not be okay, to me.

It's about 8:00am when some kids and parents walk to school, work, or wherever their going. I'm so pathetic, I don't deserve to be grieving or whatever I'm feeling over something so small.

Chaewon, you didn't even get raped. Suck it up. So many other people have it worse.

All these kinds of thoughts flow through my brain, making me think. I'm a being dramatic? Am I not allowed to be like this over something like that?

I feel so dirty and weak after what Hyunwoo did. I was drunk, if I was blacked out, would something worse have happened?

I can't even face myself in the mirror, knowing every inch of my body he touched. Does everyone think it's my fault. Even if I was drunk, I should have stopped him right? But I'm so pathetic, I always let others fight my battles for me.

Maybe this is what I deserve. I must have done something terrible that I deserve to feel this way.

"Chaewon noona!" I hear a loud voice from afar. I wipe the teardrops off my face before quickly dropping all my thoughts to see who it is.

Look presentable, look okay. Smile. Act normal. Shit my shirt looks obviously like Heeseung's.

"Minjun?" I say quietly as he approaches me and sits on the swing next to me.

"Hey noona! What's wrong? It's like you've been zoning out for the past couple minutes." he says making me snap back to reality.

"Oh nothing. I just have a lot of... work for school. Exams and stuff. And this shirt is Heeseung's, I spilled s-something on mine." I say while swinging my feet.

"Are you sure? And it's obvious, you would never wear that." he asks making me quickly nod in response.

"So, how are you doing?" he asks awkwardly.

"Well I haven't been doing much lately. You?" I say to reflect the question to him.

"Since I'm finally going to college here, I'm super busy and excited! But I'm nervous cause all my friends are going to different universities." he says.

"Don't worry, you'll make new friends. There are many nice freshman at our university. And in worst case scenario I'll hook you up with some friends." I say while letting out a fake laugh.

"Okay noona! Well I have an orientation to get to so, see you later!" he says while leaving quickly after. I should head home too, I guess.

I walk through the neighborhood and take the longest route to my house. I finally reach the last couple steps before I have to go in there, and tell my parents all about what happened.

Before I can open the door, I knock, just to show them I'm here. And maybe just to prepare myself for what I'm going to tell them.

"Chaewon!" I hear my parents voices as soon as I enter our home. I look up to see them in dirt poor conditions, maybe as bad as me.

"W-What?" I say nervously but I'm trying not to show it.

"We heard. Heeseung told us. Honey, you could have told us! Are you okay?" my dad says to me while they both hug me till I can't breath.

"He told you what..." I say still acting dumb. Did he really tell them? After I said I wasn't ready??

"The party, Chaewon. And that disgusting senior at your school. It's okay honey, your okay now." my mom says making me almost skip a heartbeat.

"H-Heeseung fucking told you???!" I say while nothing falls down my face now. I want to cry, I just can't.

"Yes honey. He did. He just came-" before they can finish I walk right back out and slam the door shut. I bang on Heeseung's door while my mind goes completely blank out of anger.

He opens up and of course he has a girl right by his side. I roll my eyes at the sight of him, not wanting to see him anymore.

"Are you fucking kidding me Heeseung??" I scream out of fuming anger pouring out of me.

"What? What happened Chaewon?" he says, acting so innocent.

"Can you leave us for a second?" I ask in the calmest way possible to the girl next to him. Who even is she??

"Why? What business do you have with my boyfriend?" she interrogates making my blood boil even more.

"Can you just fucking give us a second??! And don't worry about your little boyfriend, I'll have no problem in leaving." I scream. She rolls her eyes at me and quickly goes to his room and shuts the door.

"What's wrong, Chaewon?" he asks.

"What's wrong is your fucking told my parents after I said I wasn't ready! Heeseung, it's not like I asked you for a big thing, and you still couldn't keep quiet?! It hasn't even been two days and you did the exact thing I-I asked you not to do!!" I scream loudly. He turns silent and very pale in a split second.

I take a long pause before continuing just to see if he has any, excuse or something that will make this just a misunderstanding.

"Heeseung if you were just going to tell them, and be inconsiderate of my feelings, why would you even s-save me?! Or take care of me?? You've showed me you don't give a shit about my feelings so why??!! Heeseung, I really wish this was a misunderstanding. Please please just say this is a misunderstanding." I plead.

"No. I wanted them to know. But that doesn't mean I don't care! I did that because I cared for you and they deserve to know!! I've had a difficult time without you, and maybe, just maybe, you randomly becoming friendly with me again is confusing me!! Do you know how hard it was to live day to day, without seeing you, talking to you, or even being with you?? You were always on my mind!!" he snaps back at me.

"Well you seem perfectly fine, coping with alcohol and different girls. How many more girls until you have to cope with something else?? How much more alco-" before I can finish my sentence I see Heeseung's hand raise, almost hitting my face before he realizes.

I don't flinch. I trusted him. I thought I could trust him. Now that's broken. I just stand in utter shock before speaking again.

"Oh fuck, Chaewon I'm-" he says before I cut him off.

"You are just like your father. I fucking t-trusted you to be different. Drown yourself in sex and alcohol, maybe it will mask the fact that your growing up just like your father. I don't care anymore, do as you please." I say the last word before leaving. Do I regret my words? Maybe. But there's nothing I can do now.

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Word count: 1326❤️❤️❤️