An Order For Two [ Tronnor Oneshots ]

Creep // Radiohead

but I'm a creep, a weirdo

I was falling, gliding across the dark abyss that was my mind. I try to grasp onto something, but if I do find it, I slip. It's not there. It's imaginary, transparent, an illusion.

what the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here

Glass shards shot through my back, but I couldn't feel them. I was completely numb to the feeling, but I knew they were there. I knew why they were there.

I don't care if it hurts

My eyes closed, I wheeze, trying to get air to my lungs. But there was no air. Nothing. Just me, myself, and my shrinking lungs. They were tired, exhausted from trying so hard. No strength to continue. None at all.

I wanna have control

The memories, the bittersweet memories. Ones of demons attacking my body, ripping it to pieces as slowly as possible. Ones of hands, sliding around my neck, not letting go, tightening. Ones of clouds covering the sun that was never there.

I want a perfect body

My heart just beats, nothing changing. I couldn't feel my pulse, but I knew it was there. I could hear it. I could hear the faint sound of it pressing against my rib cage, about to break free.

I want a perfect soul

Slashes covered me head to toe, all of them my fault. When I broke down, it was my fault. When I grabbed the razor, it was my fault. When I took the cold metal to my skin, it was my fault. When I started falling, it was my fault.

I want you to notice

Nothing to me, my limbs floating aimlessly. Screams deafening me, piercing my soul, I couldn't move. So I let myself lie there, lost in thought. The thought of nothing.

when I'm not around

My mind was bending, twisting, but I didn't care much. I was falling, hoping to never fly. Hoping to never open my wings. The wings that had once been there, but not anymore. I left them at the top, not wanting to save myself from the terrible fate that was awaiting my arrival.

you're so fucking special

I know I am close to the end. The end of it all, the end of the pain, the depression, the hatred. No more bullets made of words. No more daggers, no more knives, no more blades, no more razors. No more me, no more you, no more them.

I wish I was special

I've made it.

Is this what you wanted?

Are you finally happy?

A/N:

So I tried something new... I think I like it. Just tell me if you want to see more of this because it was pretty fun to write, and I'm working on getting better at it. I barely edited this, so if there are any mistakes, just point them out nicely.

ok then, BAI!

(edit: maybe I'll add a second part to this, turn it into an actual oneshot. k bai)