Love at First Grade

16

A vacuum. A vacuum that sucked all the possible oxygen out of Bucky's hospital room. That's what it felt like when the officer said his name. Brock fucking Rumlow. Of course he'd be the idiot to drive drunk. Not only that, but of course he'd be the idiot to drive drunk and crash into Bucky and leave everything unscathed. You were fuming. You could tell by the way Bucky and his family looked at you that you weren't doing a good job keeping your facial expressions under wraps either. You wanted to yell it. "Yes we want to press charges and yes we want to sue Brock Rumlow for all he's fucking worth." But that wasn't your place. You weren't the patient. You weren't directly involved. And so you chanced a look at Bucky. You could see the anger building in his features,  a reflection of your own, but sadness was swimming through those twin pools. You could tell. Bucky felt bad that your lives were, once again, changing dramatically no thanks to Brock. You knew this had to be Bucky's decision and so you tried your best to school your features as Bucky spoke with the officers.

With one last look in your direction, Bucky took in a breath and looked at the officers, giving a nod of his head, "thank you, officers. I will be pressing charges. Please let me know what I need to sign or do to make that process happen." After that affirmation everything was a blur, officers trying to get Bucky's information to go down to the station, nurses worrying over Bucky's surgical site, but all you could think about was how you were going to get him the best lawyer possible, and Brock Rumlow would never fuck with your family again. You were pulled out of your thoughts and your phone by a large hand on your shoulder. You looked up suddenly, into the clear blue eyes of Steve Rogers.

"You okay?"

You weren't sure how to answer him. You hadn't realized that you'd started crying again. How do you tell Steve that you felt like if you and Avery had never come into Bucky's life maybe, just maybe, things would've been different. Maybe he wouldn't be in the hospital missing an arm, maybe he'd never have learned about Brock and Dot. Hell, maybe the universe would've taken that back and it never would've happened in the first place. But it just felt like everything happened for a reason. Like you were destined to meet James Buchanan Barnes on the first day of school and practically fall in love at first sight. But you didn't know how to voice all that uncertainty, you also didn't want to. You loved Bucky and he loves you. And so you just shrugged your shoulders in response to Steve's question, but as you did so more tears made their way down your face and the next thing you knew, you were being pulled into a bone crushing hug by the oddly dorito shaped (thanks Tony), golden retriever himself. And you allowed yourself to cry. You could practically feel Bucky's eyes on you and Steve and you were sure if you had looked up you would've seen the sadness you felt in your heart displayed on his face. You stood there wrapped in the arms of Steve Rogers, trying your best not to cry too loudly, when you were interrupted by a small hand tugging at your shirt. As you sniffled and picked your head off Steve's shoulders you looked down at the miniature version of Bucky, looking up at you with those steel blue eyes, as she reached her hands up for you to hold her.

You bent down immediately and scooped Becca into your arms and held her close, hugging her without squeezing too tightly. Becca reached her tiny hand up to your face and wiped away at the wet tear tracks covering your cheeks before saying, "don't cry, mama. Daddy says everything is okay." Of course that just made you cry some more before walking over to Bucky with Becca in your arms. You sat down gingerly next to him on the hospital bed and laid back with Becca snuggling into your chest.

A throat cleared and Winnie spoke, "we're going to let the three of you catch up a little bit. If you need anything, you have our numbers," and she escorted Bex and Steve out of the hospital room. That's when you dared a look, a real look, at Bucky for the first time since the news broke. Mirrored in his eyes was the hurt you felt deep in your heart, but a small smile was playing on his lips as he watched you hold Becca and stroke her hair. There was nothing to say though. The three of you sat in silence as Becca started to doze in your lap. Bucky leaned slightly to press a kiss to your head and fresh tears began to fall from your eyes.