Love at First Grade

17

chapter warning: mentions of depression/bucky is in sad boi!Bucky era tbh.

Bucky knew he was sold on the Udaku Tech arm the second he woke up and found out it was a possibility. He trusted Shuri with his life. And you did too apparently. Thinking back to all the different times your threads of life have crossed made Bucky curious as to how the hell you only just met six months ago. But he wouldn't have it any other way. When you got off the phone with the lawyer you told Bucky he'd be coming by later to talk about the course of action and what the plan would be to make sure Brock hurt as much as you all did. Then you played. You played with the girls. You let them giggle and squeal and get attacked by the tickle monster again and again and again. And laying there in that hospital bed, James Buchanan Barnes knew he was the luckiest man on earth. He had a wonderful, intelligent daughter, a partner that could bring grown men to their knees with her badassery and a second daughter who he'd had the opportunity to watch grow into a confident young girl.

But Bucky had his doubts and his worries with his new arm. He knew that he could trust Shuri and her technological innovations any day. He could trust her way more than any crap HYDRA Corp would try to put on his body. But he worried about the adjustment to this change in his life. In your lives. He knew you'd told him that you loved him but did he sense a bit of pity behind your words? Were you staying with him because you felt obligated to? Would the new metal arm scare you off? Would he be able to hold you and Becca and Avery like he used to? Would he hurt you? All these thoughts seemed to be floating around Bucky's head and it was like he couldn't get his brain to turn off. And you were either a psychic mind-reader or you just knew him so well because at that moment you sent the girls to play quietly with each other and approached his bed.

Your hand ran through his hair as you watched Bucky take in your features. And then you spoke. "You know, if you keep frowning like that you're gonna get wrinkles, grandpa."

The bluntness with which you joked had Bucky snorting and trying to cover it up with a cough. You joking with him seemed to lift some of the weight of uncertainty off Bucky's shoulders. "We're the same age, grandma," his Brooklyn drawl coming out more heavily with his joking tone. You rolled your eyes and huffed out a laugh before taking a seat and continuing to run your hands through Bucky's hair. It felt nice. The physical touch. The soothing feeling of your hands on his body always made Bucky feel better. And here you were again, working your magic. You always seemed to know the right things to say to make him feel even the teensiest bit better.

You took advantage of his silence and questioned quietly, "whatcha thinking about, Buck?" Bucky took in a deep breath as he chanced a look at the girls. Avery and Becca were sharing a chair and watching what sounded like Bluey own a tablet.

When he was sure they weren't paying attention, he answered lowly, "honey...I'm so scared."

The uncontrollable tremble of his voice made your eyes well with tears. You moved your hand from playing with his hair to take his hand and bring it to your lips for a small kiss. The gesture making Bucky's heart swell.

"Bucky, baby. I know you are. And it's okay for you to feel that way. Wanna tell me what you're scared of?"

"I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you or the girls...that I'm not gonna be able to control the arm like I'd want...that I'm gonna scare the girls and the kids at school...that I'm not good enough for you..." He trailed away as he spoke the last of his fears and made sure not to look at you. Had he been looking, he would've seen the look on your face that, by itself, would have solidified his love for you and your love for him.

And so you cleared your voice and spoke to him firmly, "James Buchanan Barnes. I love you no less now than I did six months ago. You are perfect for me. For our family. The girls love you. You won't scare them, in fact they both love Shuri and have known about her prosthetics work for so long they're gonna be so excited to see it on someone they love. And my love, it's okay to be scared about the possibility of being out of control for a little bit. That's what physical therapy is for. That's what Shuri is here for. And that's what I'm here for. We love you. We care for you. We're here to help, Buck."