Quiet. It's miserable. It used to be my favourite sound. Now it's a feeling filled with hatred and pain. It invites the insanity to come out. It plays with you. Fills your mind and body with the most terrifying invasive thoughts.
Experiencing that made me feel sympathy for those that turn to harm. It makes sense right, you create a release point for all of that ugly to disappear. Even if it's a temporary fix. right?
Silence. It used to be so calming. Now it's anxiety inducing. Why is it suddenly so lonely. Why do I suddenly feel like crying.
It used to be my favourite. Now, I hate it.
No number of friends, can undo what has already been damaged. Like a broken mirror, no amount of glue would ever put it together again, it will always keep the imperfections.
And some may see it as a sign of growth and resilience. To me, it's nothing but trauma and all of the ugly lived through.
There is no good ending. This is it. This is life. My life and your life. I'm sorry.
YOU ARE READING
Moments of despair
Short Story- How do you save a person that doesn't want to be saved? - A diary of thoughts that have followed me through my worst mental health days. Not everything can be perfect, and sometimes feelings of "giving up" arise within me.
